The Gnomish sense of humor is well known.
Gnomes love a good joke.
The biggest joke they ever pulled was the End of the World.
Sadly, it wasn’t a very good joke.
Gnomes originated on Leam, the smallest of Odekor’s five continents, but quickly spread across the world. When the humans began to build their Empire, the gnomes were the first race to ally with them. They were trusted and beloved allies.
The humans entrusted the gnomes to look after the Prophecies. The gnomes surreptitiously altered the Prophecies, smudging a line here or subtly enhancing a certain phrase.
Gnomes, you see, were never mentioned in any of the Prophecies. As far as the gods were concerned, the gnomes weren’t important. So, over the course of a couple of millennia the gnomes got their revenge by fiddling with the Prophecies.
Whether or not they intended to destroy the world will remain a mystery. The gnomes responsible for fiddling with the Prophecies are all dead, as are most of their kith and kin. The survivors have no idea that their brethren were responsible for sabotaging destiny.
Not that it would really matter that much to them.
Not now.
The surviving gnomes, you see, have gone quite mad.
Not charmingly mad. Oh no. They aren’t wearing funny hats and talking in affected accents.
No, the madness of gnomes is more subtle and dark.
Gnomes live in picturesque villages, scattered around the world. If you stumble upon one of these villages, you’ll most likely be invited to spend the night. The community will share their meager rations with you. There may be music and dancing. A lovely time will be had by all.
Until one of the gnomes sticks a knife in your back. Then the rest will fall upon you, with blades and bare hands. They’ll tear you to pieces and consume your still warm flesh, cramming it into their mouths the way a greedy child might eat a cake.
Then, their chins and hands sticky with your blood, the gnomes will throw off their clothes and fuck. They will use your bones as sex toys.
If you’re lucky, that’s all they’ll do to you. However, if there are necromancers among the gnomes, they’ll use their magic to bind your spirit. They will defile your soul in ways that beggar the imagination. Ultimately, they’ll turn you into a guardian-spirit, bound to protect the village that killed you.
And try as you might, you’ll never be able to warn the next poor, hapless soul that wanders out of the wilderness into the gnomes’ embrace.
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