The Problem Child

Good evening, gentle readers.
Over the last few months, D&D has pretty much devoured this blog. Mainly because it's my primary creative outlet.
But tonight, I'm going to talk about something different.
Tonight, gentle readers, I'm going to talk about my Problem Child.
The Problem Child is the laptop I am currently using. She wasn't always a Problem Child. Once upon a time, not that long ago, she was my 'baby.'  I would lie in bed with her, attempt to write, promote things on Twitter, watch the occasional Netflix show.
Then, in October, the problems began.
She began to lose her connection to the wifi at my house. Just at the house. Not anywhere else. I could even connecting using the POS network at my local bookstore, when I was there.
I thought the problem might have been physical. Perhaps my wifi card was going bad? Perhaps my network adapter was on the fritz? I had them checked and, no, everything appeared to be fine.
It was just at home that my problems persisted.
I tested my home system. Every other device I used had no trouble connecting and maintaining a stable wifi connection.
So, the problem must be with this computer. This laptop. This Problem Child of mine.
Having eliminated network issues and environmental issues, I started poking around on the Internet, seeing if anyone else had similar issues.
I found that I was not alone.
A lot of folks were having similar, or worse, issues.
The culprit seemed to be the Windows 10 operating system.  Windows 10 is a bit of a Nazi program. You can't tell it what to do, it does what it wants. It downloads updates without you having any real control over the downloads.
Since their Fall Creators Update, which included such marvelous things as a 3D paint studio(WTF?), a lot of people have had their wifi screwed up. And Microsoft, after their fashion, has refused to accept any culpability in the matter. Even though their forums are flooded with people, complaining about the issue and looking for help.  They tend to regurgitate the same 'solution' to every problem, none of which seem to work for everyone.
After two months of dealing with this horseshit from Microsoft, I've pretty much given up using my laptop as I would like. No more languishing in bed, taking my ease as I flit between writing and the Internet. Oh no.
Now, like a caveman, I have to go downstairs and physically connect my laptop to my router. I sit, crosslegged, on the carpeted floor, and go about my business.  It feels like I've been transported back to 1995, only not in a good way.
To say I'm a bit pissed at Microsoft regarding this matter would be an understatement.  My anger with them and their piss-all service and support has gone beyond the boiling point.  It has even gone beyond the cold icy hatred normally reserved for certain individuals. My anger with Microsoft has entered hitherto unknown regions for me, a sort of void where I lie in bed and smile as I think of their programmers developing some horrible wasting disease that consumes their lives, slowly and methodically.
Now, this is very atypical for me. I am not normally given to thoughts of vengeance and retribution. So if Microsoft and their crappy Windows 10 can produce such a response in me? Well, I shudder to think what some other people out there are going through.
And I cannot help but wonder if Microsoft invests any of their billions in fortifying their buildings with shatterproof glass and reinforced security doors? Because, honestly, ladies and gentlemen, if I were them, that would be something I would be doing.
As for the Problem Child? As long as I'm not trying to use the wifi at home, she seems okay. But if the problem spreads? Well, I might have to start looking for a new laptop. Maybe one that doesn't have a Windows OS. Only time will tell.

Lux Tenebris: Papa Spark

PAPA SPARK

STR     14 (+2)

DEX    16 (+3)

CON   20 (+5)

INT     14 (+2)

WIS     20 (+5)

CHA   18 (+4)

HP       367

AC      14 (Leather armor)

Traits:

Languages: Common, Druidic, Elvish, Thieves’ cant

Proficiencies: +11

Armor: Light, Medium, Shields

Weapons: Clubs, Daggers, Darts, Javelins, Maces, Quarterstaffs, Scimitars, Sickles, Slings, Spears

Tools: Woodcarvers tools, Land vehicles, Herbalism kit, Thieves’ tools

Saves: Intelligence +13, Wisdom +16

Skills: Animal handling +16, Insight +27, Medicine +27, Stealth +25, Survival +27

Feats:

Rustic Hospitality

* * *

Wildshape

Druid Circle: Circle of the Land

- Bonus Cantrip

- Natural Recovery

- Circle Spells

- Land’s Stride

- Nature’s Ward

- Nature’s Sanctuary

Timeless Body

Beast Spells

Archdruid

* * *

Expertise

Sneak Attack (10d6)

Cunning Action

Roguish Archetype: Thief

- Fast Hands

- Second Story Work

- Supreme Sneak

- Use Magic Device

- Thief’s Reflexes

Uncanny Dodge

Evasion

Reliable Talent

Blindsense

Slippery Mind

Elusive

Stroke of Luck

Spellcasting:

Spells Known: 25

Spell DC: 24

Atk Mod: +16

At-Will (6): Druidcraft, Guidance, Mending, Produce flame, Resistance, Shillelagh

L1(6): Animal friendship, Cure wounds, Detect magic, Entangle, Jump, Speak w/animals

L2(5): Hold person, Spike growth, Darkvision, Find traps, Pass w/out a trace

L3(5): Sleet storm, Slow, Call lightening, Dispel magic, Wind wall

L4(5): Freedom of movement, Ice storm, Confusion, Polymorph, Stoneskin

L5(5): Commune w/nature, Cone of cold, Awaken, Greater restoration

L6(4): Find the path, Heal

L7(4): Mirage arcane, Regenerate

L8(3): Animal shapes, Control weather

L9(3): Foresight, Shapechange

Equipment:

Bag of Wondrous Gifts. Unique, magic item.  The Bag of Wondrous Gifts produces a single item for a deserving person. The nature of the gift depends entirely on the recipient. The bag functions only on Winterfest and works only for Papa Spark.

Sickle. Melee. +13 to hit; deals 1d4 +2 slashing. Light.

Quarterstaff. Melee. +13 to hit; deals 1d6 +2 bludgeoning. Versatile.

Leather armor. Light armor. AC 11 + Dex.

A druid focus, a set of woodcarver’s tools, an herbalism kit, a set of thieves tools, a set of traveler’s clothes.

Centuries ago, darkness covered the land and the gods seemed to have turned their backs upon the mortal races. Despair fell heavily upon the hearts of all and the light of hope began to flicker and fade. During this grim age, a mysterious figure appeared who fought the darkness. He did not battle it with sword and spell, but with acts of kindness and generosity. Eventually, the small sparks of hope this man struck ignited a blazing fire within the breasts of mortal folk. They pushed the darkness back, overthrew the tyrants who ruled the land and sent a quiver of fear through the very heart of hell itself. Eventually, the Dark Times ended and the gods returned, but the mortal races have never forgotten the man who reignited the spark of hope.

Today, the man is known as Papa Spark.  They say that he still lives, blessed by the gods he helped to save. They say he exists on a demiplane where time moves much slower and that he leaves his home once a year, on the night of Winterfest to search the world for worthy souls. To these individuals, Papa Spark bestows special presents from his Bag of Wondrous Gifts. He then returns to his home, to rest and prepare for his next sojourn around the world.

Lux Tenebris: The Iron Rose

THE IRON ROSE,  L12 Drow (L9 Champion/L3 Swashbuckler)

STR     09 (-1)

DEX    20 (+5)

CON   16 (+3)

INT     14 (+2)

WIS     13 (+1)

CHA   14 (+2)

HP       99

AC      19 (Studded leather armor w/shield)

Traits:

Superior Darkvision (120 ft)

Sunlight Sensitivity

Fey Ancestry

Trance

Drow Magic (Spell DC

- At Will: Dancing lights

- 1/Day: Faerie fire, Darkness

Languages: Common, Elvish, Thieves’ cant, Undercommon

Proficiencies: +4

Armor: All armor, Shields

Weapons: Simple, Martial

Tools: Dice, Thieves’ tools

Saves: Strength +3, Constitution +7

Skills: Acrobatics +9, Arcana +6, Intimidation +6, Stealth +13, Survival +9

Feats:

Inheritance

* * *

Fighting Style: Dueling

Second Wind

Action Surge

Martial Archetype: Champion

- Improved Critical (19/20)

- Remarkable Athlete

Extra Attack

Indomitable

* * *

Expertise

Sneak Attack

Cunning Action

Roguish Archetype: Swashbuckler

- Fancy Footwork

- Rakish Audacity

Equipment:

Shortword. Melee. +9 to hit; deals 1d6 +5 piercing; Finesse, Light.

Daggers(2). Melee. +9 to hit; deals 1d4 +5 piercing; Finesse, Light, Thrown (20/60 ft).

Studded leather. Light armor. AC 12 + Dex Mod.

Shield. AC +2.

Her real name is Malora, but these days most people know her as the Iron Rose. She was born in the Underdark.  When the mindflayers seized power, her mother fled with her to the surface. Malora’s mother entrusted her to a Temple of Abasha, where Malora was raised along with other foundlings. The fate of her mother remains unknown.

Being drow on the surface meant Malora grew up dealing with fear, suspicion and hatred on a daily basis. She found an escape in martial training, studying with the temple’s armsmaster until she had surpassed him.

At sixteen, Malora left the Temple of Abasha and ventured into the world. The world was not exactly welcoming. Nevertheless, she persevered. She traveled, met other drow refugees and, by blind luck, discovered the meaning of the curious tattoos she bore on her skin.

Malora left Nur. Sailing across the Gulf of Promises to the continent of V’Resh, she survived any way she could. She lived as a pirate, a gladiator, a courtesan and a revolutionary.  Eventually, she became known as the Iron Rose, named so for her fragile beauty and deadly skill with a blade. Her reputation attracted an offer from a mercenary group, the Company of the Bloody Red Banner, and she returned to Nur with them.  Hired by the Duke of Alindrast, the Bloody Red Banner was sent north to support the Count of Alindor as he stood against the Draconic Legions. 

After their contract with the Duke ended, the Bloody Red Banners decided to return to V’Resh. The Iron Rose chose to remain in Nur and rode north and west, eventually arriving in the city of Fallen Baramir.

Although she has set herself up as an adventuress-for-hire, in reality, the Iron Rose spends most of her time at the Adamantine Archive. She is researching the history of the drow and has become a common sight in the Archive.  When not at the Archive, the Iron Rose can be found among the labarynthine streets of Trews, where she has taken quarters.

The Iron Rose’s presence in the city has not gone unnoticed or unremarked. The watch keeps a close eye on her, but so far her behavior has been beyond reproach. More disturbing to many people is the fact that other drow have begun arriving in Fallen Baramir, seeking out the Iron Rose. The Iron Rose has met with several drow over the last few weeks, but to what ends no one can say.

Recently, after an informal meeting with the Chief Archivist of the Adamantine Archive, Regent Swann invited the Iron Rose to meet with him at Regent’s House.  The purpose of the meeting remains unknown, but the fact that it happened at all has sparked a great deal of interest and some alarm within the city.

Lux Tenebris: Neava Sinaia

NEAVA SINAIA, L9 Forrest Gnome Sage Wizard

STR 07 (-2)

DEX 11 (+0)

CON 11 (+0)

INT 16 (+3)

WIS 10 (+0)

CHA 12 (+1)

HP 38

AC 13 (Mage Armor)

Traits:

Speed: 25 ft.

Darkvision

Gnome Cunning

Natural Illusionist

Speak w/Small Beasts

Languages: Common, Draconic, Elvish, Gnomish

Proficiencies: +4

Armor: None

Weapons: Daggers, Darts, Slings, Quarterstaffs, Light x-bows

Tools: None

Saves: Intelligence +7, Wisdom +4

Skills: Arcana +7, History +7, Investigation +7, Religion +7

Feats:

Researcher

* * *

Arcane Recovery

Arcane Tradition: Abjuration

- Abjuration Savant

- Arcane Ward

- Projected Ward

 Spellcasting:

# of Spells: 12

Spell DC: 15

Atk Mod: +7

At-Will(4): Blade ward, Mage hand, Poison spray, Shocking grasp

L1(4): Detect magic, Mage armor, Magic missile

L2(3): Invisibility, Shatter, Web

L3(3): Dispel magic, Fly, Slow

L4(3): Blight, Polymrph

L5(1): Wall of Force

Equipment:

Quarterstaff. Melee. +2 to hit; deals 1d6 bludgeoning; Versatile (1d8).

An arcane focus, a scholar’s pack, a spellbook, a bottle of black ink, a small knife, a letter from a dead colleague, a set of common clothes, a belt pouch w/10g.

Neava Sinaia is a respected scholar and an authority upon the history of Fallen Baramir and the surrounding region.  Ironically, in a city that his chock-a-block with experts and sages attached to the Adamantine Archive, Mistress Sinaia is not affiliated with the Archive. Indeed, she is quite critical of the Archive, feeling that its reputation as a place of study and educational advancement is not warranted. As you can imagine, this opinion has not made Mistress Sinaia very popular among Fallen Baramir’s academics. Mistress Sinaia doesn’t particularly care. She is the official historian of Fallen Baramir, a position that she relishes, and has recently been tasked by Regent Swann to construct a historical museum to educate the city’s residents.  Mistress Sinaia has thrown herself wholeheartedly into this new project.

Lux Tenebris: Lukus Swann

LUKUS SWANN, L8 Human Noble Mastermind

STR 15 (+2)

DEX 10 (+0)

CON 13 (+1)

INT 10 (+0)

WIS 16 (+3)

CHA 16 (+3)

HP 51

AC 11 (Leather armor)

Traits:

Languages: Celestial, Common, Dwarvish, Elvish, Orcish, Thieves’ Cant

Proficiencies:+3

Armor: Light

Weapons: Simple, Hand x-bows, Longswords, Rapiers, Shortswords

Tools: Cards, Chess set, Disguise kit, Forgery kit, Thieves’ tools

Saves: Dexterity +6, Intelligence +3,

Skills: Deception +6, History +6, Insight +9, Perception +9, Persuasion +9, Stealth +3

Feats:

Position of Privilege

* * *

Expertise

Cunning Action

Roguish Archetype: Mastermind

- Master of Intrigue

- Master of Tactics

Uncanny Dodge

Evasion

Equipment:

Rapier. Melee; +5 to hit; deals 1d8 +2 piercing; Finesse.

Shortsword. Melee; +5 to hit; deals 1d6 +2 piercing; Finesse, Light.

Daggers (2). Melee +5 to hit; deals 1d4 +2 piercing; Finesse, Light, Thrown (20/60 ft).

Leather armor. Light. AC 11 + Dex Mod.

A set of fine clothes, a signet ring, a scroll of pedigree, an explorer’s pack, thieves’ tools, a purse with 25g.

Lukus Swann is the current Regent of Fallen Baramir. A slim, silver-haired human man, Swann is the last living member of his family.  He has been Regent for thirteen years and is one of the more competent leaders the city has had in recent memory. Swann has heard the prophecy of Baramir’s Heir appearing, but until it happens, the Regent will continue to guide his city as best he can through these turbulent times.

Lux Tenebris: Fallen Baramir

            A thousand years ago, in the shadow of the Southern Greytooth Mountains, a hero-king called Baramir fought a demon-prince known as the Unnamed.  Baramir and his companions defeated the Unnamed and his army, but at a cost. Baramir fell.

            As Baramir lay dying, a miracle occurred. A tree of purest gold erupted from the earth where his blood had spilt.  Upon a branch of this tree, Baramir placed his crown and said, “Let my crown hang there until the true king claims it. And should a false king lay claim to it, let him find only death.”

            The golden tree still stands today, and upon a branch hangs a simple, circlet of steel known as Baramir’s Crown, still waiting for the true king to claim it. It is unguarded and more than one man has been foolish enough to claim it as his own.  All came to regret that choice, as all of these false kings came to grisly ends.

            Today, the city known as Fallen Baramir is ruled, not by a king, but by a Regent. The position is not hereditary, but is earned by luck and fate. At the death, or abdication, of the old Regent a lottery is held, overseen by priests of Cyric, God of Truth. Anyone may enter their name in this lottery, but there can be only one winner. The losers must pay for their hubris with their lives; they are hung by the neck until they are dead.  For this reason, the folk of Fallen Baramir often say, “Noble ambitions have a high price.”

            Although Fallen Baramir has stood for a thousand years, established by the surviving companions of the hero-king, the area it occupies has been inhabited for almost four thousand years.  Indeed, Fallen Baramir is the eldest of the northern cities and has often been referred to as the Gateway to the North.  Five hundred years ago, its reputation grew even greater with the establishment of the Adamantine Archive. Since then, Fallen Baramir has expanded and embraced the Archive, even as it remains a separate and independent state within the city’s boundaries.

            Sadly, despite its long and storied past, today Fallen Baramir is not considered a major power in the region.  It is best known as a waypoint for trade with the south and a destination for sages, historians and researchers.  Adventurers sometimes pass through the city, but they seldom stay long; there are no great threats in the area requiring their services. Between the resources of the city, the Adamantine Archive and the Greytooth Dwarves, the region is well-guarded and quite placid.  Monsters and bandits that wander close to Fallen Baramir meet a quick and violent end.

            The Regents of Fallen Baramir, perhaps influenced by the example of the Adamantine Archive, have striven to remain neutral in the region. Their strategy has kept the city safe, but has also allowed Swordhold and Mountgate to surpass it in influence and wealth.

            During the Draconic Invasion, the city was considered of lesser importance than its neighbors. Draconic Legions were dispatched to the city, but with orders to secure the Adamantine Archive. Their efforts were futile and the Legions were decimated by the Archive’s defenses. The few survivors fled to the east, seeking to return to newly-claimed imperial territories around Shrike and Calhorne.

            Since the end of the Invasion, Fallen Baramir has seen an influx of immigrants and refugees from the south and east. Many have moved on, fleeing further north, but some have settled in the Gateway to the North.  It is widely speculated that if the North is to march upon the Draconic territories, the military forces will pass through Fallen Baramir. For the first time in a century, mercenary companies and adventurers have a presence in the city. They are not entirely welcome.

            Of greater interest to the locals is a rumored prophecy that Baramir’s Heir will appear, to claim the crown and occupy the Waiting Throne. Whether this is true or not, a palpable nervous energy now fills the normally placid streets and districts of Fallen Baramir.

            Perhaps Fallen Baramir will regain its fame and influence? Perhaps the Gateway to the North will rise to golden glory again?

            Only time will tell.