The Diamond

The Diamond is the world. The world is the Diamond.

There is nothing beyond the Diamond.  

Even if someone did manage to climb the walls of the Diamond, they would never come back.

And the walls of the Diamond stretch impossibly high.

The Diamond is divided into three areas: the Outer Ward, the Greensward and the Inner Ward.

The Outer Ward is a vast expanse of metallic gray wasteland where nothing made of flesh and blood can survive for long. Automata and the ghosts of the dead lurk in the Outer Ward.

The Inner Ward lies at the heart of the Diamond, a desert of poisonous yellow crystals where the Sun rises and falls each day.

The Inner Ward is utterly fatal to all creatures who enter it, even briefly. Living creatures die. Automata collapse. Spirits disintigrate.

The Sun does not cross the sky in the Diamond. It rises from the Inner Court, and then descends back into the depths of the earth. 

A day in the Diamond lasts about twelve hours.

When the Sun has disappeared, the stars begin to glow softly above the Diamond.  The Moon emerges from the Eastern Tower and rides her chariot in a circular pattern over the Diamond before returning to the Eastern Tower. 

The Moon is literally a beautiful woman who rides across the sky in a magic chariot pulled by six winged goats. 

A night in the Diamond lasts about twelve hours.

The Greensward lies between the Outer Ward and the Inner Ward and is where the Diamond's populace lives.

The Greensward contains forests and grasslands, hills and lakes, some small mountains and the rusted ruins of colossal ancient war-golems and the bleached bones of ancient giant beasts.

There are only three major population centers in the Greensward: Redfern, Metallica and Cistern.

Wild animals, malevolent spirits and rogue automata are the biggest threats in the Greensward. 

Hunters hunt wild animals.

Exorcists bind malevolent spirits.

Troubleshooters find and fix rogue automata.

People get around mostly on foot, but bicycles and sky-ponies are popular too.

There are vending machines around the Diamond. They sell everything from food and drink to magic potions, cursed items, bones, used elf panties (don't ask!) and odder things.

The vending machines are serviced by the vending gnomes.  No one knows where vending gnomes come from or why they do what they do.

Do not approach the vending gnomes! They bite!

Pandora - Part 9

Life Outside the City.

If you leave the city of Pandora and venture out into the island, it's a bit like stepping back in time. Once you get about ten miles from the city, the quality of the roads can drop dramatically. The landscape is dotted by isolated farmsteads and the rugged estates of landed nobles. There are expansive dairy and sheep farms, as well as large agricultural farms. Potatoes, cabbage, kale, carrots, leeks, rutabega, bilberries and strawberries are all common crops on Pandora.

Rural villages are small, close-knit communities consisting of sturdy, well-fortified buildings. Water comes from wells or roof cisters. Electricity, if available, comes from gasoline, diesel or, most likely, bio-diesel generators and solar pannels. Wind farms are growing more popular as a power-source as well.

Most rural homes don't have telephone service, but many are equipped with CB radios and radio-phones. 

Automobiles may be banned in the city, but they are essential in the island's rural areas.Also, many rural residents are granted special dispensation by local magistrates to carry firearms, to protect their homes and properties from grendel attacks.

The further one travels from the city, the more rural and undeveloped the island becomes. The landscape is dominated by grasslands, cliffs and heaths with small isolated copses of trees. Wildlife is abundant. Feral sheep, rabbits, birds and foxes are commonly seen. There are small herds of deer and reindeer on the island.

There are also grendels.

Grendels.

Many visitors and newcomers to Pandora laugh at the tales of grendels, believing them to be a kind of local bogeyman.  This is untrue.  Grendels are real. They are described as large, terrifying beasts with a grotesque appearance possessing sharp claws, bad tempers and insatiable appetites.  (There are some who speculate that grendels could be a corrupt, feral form of yeti or sasquatch.) They are fast and ferociously strong. There have been reports of grendels tearing cattle in half.

Grendels are largely nocturnal and usually avoid groups of humans. However, they have been known to attack and kill solitary humans.  Because of this, most rural Pandorans are either home by sundown or, if they must be out, they travel in large, well-lit groups. (Grendels are extremely sensitive to bright light and loud noises. Mostly they'll run away from the source, but sometimes they'll fly into a rage and attack the source.)

The Pandoran Army and rural constabulary patrol the roads and villages, keeping a sharp eye out for any sign of grendels. If they find evidence of a group of grendels, the army may be ordered to track and eliminate the creatures.

Grendels are extremely territorial and a male grendel will not tolerate the presence of another male in his territory. Such encounters end in the death of one of the males.  Female grendels are tolerated, but they mostly keep to themselves until they go into heat.

Single births are the norm for grendels and the mother will feed and protect the child until it can care for itself. At that point, she will drive it off.  If it lingers or returns, she may kill and eat it.

Grendel sightings drop to zero during the winter months and it is speculated that the creatures go into hibernation during this time. This might also explain why grendle-human conflicts are most likely to occur in mid-spring, if the creatures wake hungry from their hibernation.

The origin of the grendels remains unknown. Local lore, however, suggests that the grendels are the children of Pandora herself. That she was seduced by the King of the Underworld, and the grendels were the result of their union. 

 Bilberry Fairies.

According to rural lore, wild bilberry bushes should never be bothered because they could belong to a bilberry fairy. The bilberry fairy is described as a tiny androgynous figure with hair the same shade as a fresh bilberry and diaphanous wings growing from their backs. Bilberry fairies have a special link to their bilberry bush; the berries from their bush are the only thing they can eat. If their bush is damaged or destroyed, the bilberry fairy will starve. Therefore, they are extremely protective of their bush and will even resort to lethal curses to protect them. In contrast, the bilberry fairy will also reward those who protect their bush, granting them good luck.  Bilberry fairies cannot abide the color yellow and avoid it like the plague. Because of this, farmers will tie yellow ribbons around their bilberry bushes to prevent them from being claimed by one of the fairies.

Poskah.

According to Pandoran lore, poskah are magical creatures resembling beautiful women or handsome men.  They are able to take on various forms - birds, fish, seals, turtles, even whales. Depending on their mood, they can either help or hinder people. Poskah are bound to the sea and cannot set foot on dry land without falling down dead.  Sadly, when some poskah catch a glimpse of a human they fall madly in love with them. If the human knows and can accept the poskahs magical nature and limitations, the love can survive and even thrive. But if they do not know, or cannot accept the poskah's nature, the poskah will be compelled to prove it by stepping on dry land and instantly dying. Their human lover will often be so overcome by guilt and grief that they then mourn themselves to death.

 Old Becillia.

According to island lore, there was once a cunning old woman named Becillia.  One night, she met the Devil wandering the streets of Pandora.  The Devil asked Becillia if she thought she was a good woman? Becillia countered by asking the Devil if he thought he was a good soul? They went back and forth like this for a long time, until the eastern sky began to grow bright. The Devil realized he had wasted his one night of the year in Pandora trading questions with Becillia. He got so angry, he barred her from his kingdom, then vanished in a cloud of fire and smoke. When Becillia died, she went to Heaven but was told she couldn't come in because she was wicked. She was sent down to Hell, but the Devil barred her from entering. With Heaven and Hell refusing her entry, Old Becillia returned to earth as a ghost.  They say she wanders the city to this day, hoping to meet the Devil again so she can apologize and finally find her eternal rest.

Pandora - Part 8

Media on Pandora.

 Television. 

Pandora has two broadcast television stations.  One is government-sponsored, while the other is independently owned and operated.  There are no cable television stations on Pandora or satellite television stations.

 Pandora Public Television(PPT) is a government-sponsored channel established in 1965. They operates from 6AM to 12PM, eight days a week, 360 days a year.  PPT provides mainly news, educational programming and cultural programs. (During the Silent Days of December, they show looped video footage of a snowstorm for the duration. It is one of their most popular programs.)

Island TV (ITV) is a privately owned television station established in 1995 and supported by ad revenue and a generous grant from the Royal Philanthropic Society. ITV operates from 4PM to 2AM.  Their programming focuses on entertainment and includes local talk shows, reruns of popular television programs imported from outside Pandora, locally-produced entertainment programs and live coverage of Eyfendrewbri Music Festival and the Burning Mime festival. (ITV was almost shut down in 1997 when they accidentally aired twenty minutes of a softcore porn film after midnight. A thorough investigation revealed that it was an accident and the station manager was required to apologize to the viewers.)

Radio.

There are five radio stations on the island. By law, at least 60% of all material broadcast over Pandoran radio must be produced on the island.  As such, the airwaves are dominated by Pandoran artists. Four of the stations are based in the city, while one is based on the far north side of the island.

 FM Pandora - a popular radio station that plays a wide range of music. Most of the musicians they play are local and they broadcast live from the Eyfendrewbri Music Festival each year.

 KBTF (Knit By the Fire) Radio - the most popular radio station in the city, they play a variety of programs ranging from arts and culture to dramas and comedies.

 North Tip Radio(NTR) - the only radio station based outside the city, NTR is housed near the North Tip Naval Station on the northern side of the island. NTR is an independent station and it offers a mix of programs that appeal to Pandora's more rural populace.

 Seahorse Radio - a miniscule radio station in the Seahorse District playing mostly Celtic and Irish folk music.

 The Weather Station - a government-sponsored radio station that plays soft acoustic music between weather reports. (The live weather reports are read by Janetta Kocopell, who is commonly known as 'the Weather Lady.' It is generally agreed that she has the sexiest voice of any on-air radio personality in the island.)

 Publications.

Pandora is home to a number of local publications, including newspapers and magazines.

 The Witness - established in 1619 AD, The Witness is the main newspaper on the island. It covers general news, events and issues relevant to all citizens. The paper is printed three times a week(Monday, Wednesday, Friday).  It's offices and printers are located in Karcelle.

 The Playbill - established in 1892 AD, The Playbill is a weekly newspaper that covers local arts, music and events. It is published on Thursday.  The Playbill's offices are in the Carnival District.

 The Informer - established in 1960, The Informer is a monthly newspaper covering foreign news, events and issues of interest to Pandora's outsider community. The Informer's office and printshop is in Oceanview.

 The Bull Sheet - this zine-like publication first appeared on the streets of the city in 1994. To this day, no one knows who writes it or where it's published. The Bull Sheet is full of gossip and rumors, and often features saucy photographs or drawings that skirt the edge of public decency. (But it has an Excellent crossword puzzle!)

 The Guide to Arts & Festivals (GAF) - the GAF is published quarterly and is an essential guide to all the upcoming art events and festivals in Pandora. The GAF is published by the Ministry of Culture in cooperation with the Royal Philanthropic League and the Knitting Society.

 In addition to these publications, there are many more. Each district produces its own local publication, usually printed once a month, covering news and events of specific interest to local residents. 

There are a number of hobby and special interest publications (such as Knitting Knack, for knitting enthusiasts, or The Gastropandorica, a combination recipe book and guide to Pandoran eateries.), most of them published on a monthly basis.

There is also The Royal Magazine, published annually in December. This glossy magazine contains photos of and interviews with the members of the Pandoran Royal Family. In addition, the magazine comes with a lottery ticket to the New Year's Day Ball held at the Royal Palace.

 Internet.

The internet simply does not work on Pandora. There is no way to connect to the larger worldwide web, and the locals networks that do exist are military and government. Occasionally, tech enthusiasts try to get a larger local network going, but these efforts have always failed from lack of interest.

 Phones.

Cell phones don't work on Pandora, and radio phones are notoriously unreliable. However, landlines exist and are quite prevalent in the city.  Most homes and businesses are wired up for telephone service, and there are payphones scattered around the city. Most can be found outside of Underground stations.  It costs a half-rho coin to make a call from a payphone and reversing the charges on a call is not allowed. (Did you know that in Pandora, telemarketing and telephone surveys are illegal? It's true!)

Pandoran phone-lines do extend outside the city, but service can be spotty in rural areas. Also, there are no international telephone lines, so calling off the island is impossible.

Pandora - Part 7

The Economy

Despite its isolation, the Pandoran economy is quite vibrant. Fishing, farming and textiles are key industries.  Most everyday staple goods are produced on the island, however luxury and specialty goods are imported quite often. Oddly enough, most of these goods are not brought in by the Pandoran Ferry, but emerge from the Underground. Exactly where and how the King of the Underground sources these goods remains a mystery.

The unit of currency in Pandora is the humble rho. The rho refers to both paper money and coinage.  The smallest denomination is the half-rho coin, then the one rho bill and coin, the two rho bill, the four rho bill, the eight rho bill and the sixteen rho bill. The coins are silver while the paper bills are pink and blue.

Pandoran businesses do not take credit or debit cards, but personal checks drawn on a local bank are commonly accepted.

Visitors and newcomers to the island are surprised at the excellent rate when exchanging foreign currency for rhos. The exchange rate is set by the Ministry of Finance, which is responsible for the printing and minting of money, as wel as overseeing the Pandoran economy.  The Minister of Finance is appointed by the monarch and usually serves for life or until they retire, are replaced by a new monarch or become mentally incompetant.

Pandoran exports are mostly high-quality textiles, which are shipped out via the Underground. Clothing made from Pandoran wool commands a high price overseas.

Tourism is a fairly new industry in Pandora and, to date, extremely limited. Tourists are usually wealthy individuals attracted to Pandora by the rumors surrounding the island.  Given the limited space on the Pandoran Ferry (and the recalcitrance of the Captain), mass tourism is simply not feasible.  There has been some discussion of adding a second ferry that would handle the tourist trade, but this idea was immediately vetoed by the Ferry Captain and the King of the Underground.  No reason was given as to why this idea would be unfeasable, or why the Ferry Captain would have any input in the matter.

 Education on Pandora.

Pandora has a high literacy rate. Approximately 98% of the population can read and write and about 58% of the population speaks more than one language. 

Pandorans value education and children begin attending preschool at the age of five, and regular school at age six.  The Pandoran school day, however, starts at 10:00 AM and ends at 2:00 PM. From grades one through four, the Pandoran curriculum focuses on English, Mathematics, Art and Sport.  At the start of grade five, the curriculum shifts to Civics, History, Science and an elective class of the student's choice. 

At the end of grade eight, the student's overall academic interest and ability is assessed by the Ministry of Education. This is an important moment in a student's life. Those who have not displayed academic interest are directed toward trade school and practical apprenticeships. Those who have displayed academic interest and ability are directed toward a course of study to prepare them for higher education in grades nine through twelve.

It should be noted that Pandoran children attend school year round with week long breaks in March, June, September and December. 

Upon graduating from secondary school, Pandorans may attend one of three institutes of higher learning in the country.

The Royal Academy of Arts and Sciences - established in 895 AD, they currently offer courses in Fine Arts, Cultural Studies, History, Environmental Science and Psychology.

The Pandoran Institute for Commerice & Industry - established in 1478 AD, they currently offer courses in Business Studies, Marketing, Sustainable Practices, International Trade and Culinary Arts.

Queen Gwendolin College - established in 1617 AD by 'Good Queen Gwen', one of Pandora's most beloved monarchs, they currently offer courses in Literature, Performing Arts, Social Work, Urban Studies and Design & Architecture.

Pandorans seldom leave the island to attend higher education and when they do they often have difficulty establishing their academic credentials.

Pandora - Part 6

Law & Order

Pandorans have a very strong respect for the law and law-enforcement.  That said, the country's laws are a peculiar mish-mash of ancient and modern practices.

The monarch of Pandora enacts laws, often after lengthy consulation with various advisors, and also acts as the head of the judiciary. 

Pandoran laws are blunt and to the point. Most will fit on an index card. Copies of The Pandoran Book of Law are printed at the start of each year with any updates and are available in every public library.

The laws are enforced by the Pandoran Constabulary, more commonly referred to as blackjacks because of their shiny black coats and caps. The blackjacks are organized along military lines with ranks ranging from private to colonel.  Only the higher ranks, lieutenant and above, are allowed to carry firearms, but every blackjack is equipped with a heavy truncheon and trained to deadly effect in how to use it.

When someone is arrested for a crime, they are considered innocent until proven guilty in court. The burden of proof falls on the Office of the Prosecutor.  Defendents are required to have a lawyer represent them, and if they cannot afford one, the crown will appoint one from the Office of the Defense.  Most cases are handled in the Common Court, but serious cases (assault with weapons, rape, murder) are handled in the King's Court.  In Pandoran courts, the prosecutors and the defense present their arguments to a Court Magistrate in writing. This includes all evidence. The Court Magistrate reviews the evidence, then submits it to a three-person jury, called a tribunal, to determine guilt or innocence. If the defendant is found guilty, they will appear before a Sentencing Magistrate who will review the case and the convicted criminal's records, then pass sentence.   However, the sentence is then reviewed by a third judge, the Merciful Magistrate, who decides if their are mitigating circumstances that justify a lighter sentence.  If so, the sentence is adjusted. More often than not, though, the initial sentence will stand.

Pandorans do not believe in prison. They believe in punishment. Convicted criminals are subjected to fines, whipping and caning. Repeat offenders and chronic criminals face even harsher penalties.  Execution, however, is reserved for serious offenses, such as rape or murder. The most common form of exeuction in Pandora is hanging.

Many newcomers to the island are shocked at the brutality of the Pandoran justice system, but natives point out that the island has a remarkably low crime rate. 

Occasionally, an accused criminal will manage to escape from custody and flee to either the wilds outside the city or the Underground.  Those who flee to the wilds don'tusually last long as the crown considers such individuals automatically guilty and places large bonties on their heads. Those who flee to the Underground can sometimes manage to build a new life for themselves in service to the King of the Underground.  However, they can never set foot on the surface ever again or run the risk of being captured and hung.

 The Pandoran Military

Pandora has a small military consisting entirely of vollunteers. The military is divided into the Pandoran Army and the Pandoran Navy. Given the size of the island, the Pandoran military is quite small, only 350 people total.  The Pandoran Army is led by a single General, who reports directly to the monarch. The Pandoran Navy is led by a single Admiral, who also reports directly to the monarch.

Given the unique nature of the island, the Pandoran Navy performs mainly search and rescue operations, assisting fishermen and enforcing Pandoran maritime laws.

The Pandoran Army is more active, and can be called upon to assist the Pandoran Constabulary during times of unrest. They also assist in search and rescue operations outside the city, as well as disaster relief.

Although anyone born in Pandora can enlist in the military, the Army and Navy are dominated by so-called 'millitary families.'  These are families where successive generations have joined the Army or Navy.  These families are fiercely loyal to their respective military branches and the Pandoran Royal Family.

The Pandoran Royal Family is protected by a military unit, drawn from both Army and Navy, known as the Emerald Guard.  During formal state affairs, the Emerald Guards are easily identified by their dark green uniforms and proximity to the royals.  Joining the Emerald Guard is considered a tremendous honor among military personnel. Most of the Admirals and Generals overseeing the military have served in the Emerald Guard at one time or another.

Military personnel are allowed to carry firearms while on duty, but must secure them when they go off-duty. Military personnel who fail to do so face severe discipline.

 Pandoran Intelligence

Intelligence matters in Pandora are handled by the Office of the Question, which reports directly to the monarch. Known commonly as 'the Question', this organization operates at all levels of society within the city and without. There are rumors they even operate overseas and in the Underground, although there is no proof of this.  The head of the Quesion is known as the Eye, and reports directly to the monarch. The current Eye is Mrs. Elizabeth Caedshin, a quiet, genial lady in her fifties with a steel spine and a capacity for orchestrating strategic violence that her demure appearance belies. Although the Question has been implicated in several unusual accidents, there has never been any concrete proof to support the claims.

Pandora - Part 5

 The King of the Underground

Although the Pandoran Royal Family may rule most of the island, their authority stops below the surface. The Pandoran underworld falls under the authority of the King of the Underground, also known as His Subterrestreal Majesty.

Originally known as the King of the Underwold, when Pandora began building its underground transit system, he became known as the King of the Underground.

His origins are shrouded in mystery. Some say that the Kings of the Underground are a distaff branch of the Royal Family. Others say that the Kings are the descendants of Pandora herself, who retreated into caves when the first exiles arrived on the island. And there are old stories that the King of the Underworld was on the island before Pandora herself.

The King of the Underground has a delicious, sinister reputation. He never lets the Royal Family forget that they rule in tandem, and can become quite angry if he is disrespected. If anyone on Pandora digs a deep enough hole they have to pay the King of the Underground a tribute. Every rho that goes into the Underground, goes into His Subterrestreal Majesty's pocket.

The King of the Underground lives underground. Rumors say that he resides in a luxurious train cart that never stops moving along the rains of the Underground. Others say he has a subterranean palace that would put the Royal Palace to shame.

On very rare occasions, his Subterrestreal Majesty will come to the border of his kingdom to meet with a blood member of the Pandoran Royal Family. These meetings are rare and somewhat frought, and everyone agrees diplomacy is best carried out by representatives of the two monarchs.

Outside the city, the King is still referred to as the King of the Underworld. Farmers and homesteaders will leave offerings of food and drink in caverns and caves to placate the King. When a new well must be dug on a farmstead, the farmers and workers are very careful to toss coins into the hole, as payment to the King of the Underground.

Mother Justice and the Train Police

The laws of the King of the Underground are enforced, quite physically, by the Train Police. This force of men and women patrol the Underground, and take quick and decisive action to punish those who break the law.  Dressed in dark red uniforms with matt black helmets and armed with wooden cudgels, the Train Police give pause to everyone who travels in the Underground.  They seem to limit their activities to the trains and subway stations that comprise the Underground.

Presumably the Train Police live underground as they are never seen aboveground, either in uniform or out.  They are utterly devoted to the King of the Underground and anyone who besmirches him in their hearing is liable to get their teeth knocked out.

As a sort of counterpoint to the Train Police is the figure of Mother Justice. Mother Justice is a giant of a woman, over six feet tall, with a muscular physique and a battle-scarred, noble visage. She is more handsome than pretty with unruly dark hair tucked into a soiled coif. She wears a tattered skirt and cloak made from remnants of flags and a coarse white blouse with the sleeves rolled up past her elbows. She is barefoot and carried a heavy brass club.

Mother Justice has free reign of the Underground. She can go anywhere and none may stand in her way. Those who try often get bludgeoned into paste. In addition to the Underground, Mother Justice will sometimes be spotted in the city's sewers and cellars, marching purposefully on her mission to bring justice to the Underground.

According to local legends, Mother Justice is ageless and has an adversarial, but respectful, relationship with the King of the Underground. Why she seems bound to the Underground is anyone's guess, but she has carte blanch to mete out justice in that dark realm as she sees fit.

 The Long Stair and the Brass Door

According to legend, somewhere beneath Pandora, guarded by the King of the Underground is a long staircase that winds down, deep into the earth.  At the bottom of this stairwell is a door made entirely of brass.  The Long Stair and the Brass Door lead to hell.

Once a year, the Brass Door opens and the Devil climbs up the Long Stair. He walks through the Underground and then steps onto the streets of Pandora. The Devil wanders the streets of Pandora, noting the wicked and the good. Sometimes he will speak with someone and offer a bargain. The details of the bargain vary but if you accept it, they say it will cost you your soul. After causing some mischief, the Devil retraces his steps. He must be back in Hell before dawn arrives or he will be utterly destroyed.

Although the bulk of Pandorans laugh at this story, some take it quite seriously. There are always sly characters in the Underground Markets offering maps that lead the way to the Long Stair and the Brass Door. People question why anyone would want such a map? The answer is another story.

That once, the Devil's way up the Long Stair was blocked by a young man who refused to move unless the Devil granted him a wish. The Devil agreed and the young man asked for a long life. The Devil granted him long life and the young man moved aside. But the young man's long life was one of heartache and loss, so the Devil got his own back again.

Still, there are always people who think they can outsmart the Devil.

Wizard City

 

The Magical Girl Apocalypse has come and gone and the world has been changed forever. One of the first communities to rebuild and thrive in this brave, new world became known as Wizard City, in the nation formerly known as the USA.  Approximately 99% of the local population has some kind of magical ability. Most are minor, like knowing the precise moment a bottle of milk will spoil, or being able to magically remove warts. However, one percent of the locals possess formidable magical abilities, such as reanimating the dead or changing the weather to suit themselves. And, one percent of the local population has no magical ability whatsoever.

Getting around Wizard City is pretty easy. There's a very efficient subway system that runs twenty-four hours a day. Anyone who has to travel across the city uses the subway. All the gasoline got turned into lemonade, so cars are pretty useless, and all the horses turned into centaurs and they only give rides to the really pretty people. And even then, most people don't want to pay a centaur for a lift because the resulting equinoids are just really unfortunate looking. So, most people walk, bicycle or take the train.

Here are some interesting local sites, easily available via the subway.

 LeFey Square - One of the nicer city squares with a very good statue of Wizard City founder, Marie-Ann LeFey. She died in the Great Chicken War, but her memory survives. On Founders Day, the statue comes to life and leaves its pedestal to assess the city and publicly castigate the Mayor and City Founders if things aren't up to snuff.

The Black Center - The Black Center is the city's oldest art gallery and performing arts space. The Wizard City Philharmonic Orchestra plays there seasonally, and the Wizard City One-Man Band plays there far too often. The paintings in the gallery are nice, but many are magical and more than one patron has tumbled into a painting of the ocean and drowned. We recommend staying behind the red velvet ropes.

Shadow Town - This is where most of Wizard City's Shadow People live. It's not the nicest looking area, but Shadow People don't need anything but light to survive, so you can understand the scarcity of corner stores and public amenities. That said, after sundown, it is the brightest neighborhood in Wizard City.

 Tavern Street - If you're looking for a drink, the best place to go is Tavern Street. This winding street is comprised of almost nothing but drinking establishments. Everything from dangerous dive bars to hoity-toity private drinking clubs can be found here. So can a lot of drunks. We recommend that you don't wear shoes you like.

 Edgetown - This is the home of Wizard City's PAPS (Post-Apocalyptic Punk Scene). You can't walk down a street in Edgetown without spotting someone with a Day-Glo mohawk, vulgar tattoos and multiple piercings. Leather fetish gear is the norm here, and if you're a mutant with extra limbs or a conjoined psychic twin you're at the very pinnacle of local fashion. We recommend Mad Max's Rad Body Mod Shop for all your tattooing, piercing, scarification and fashion needs. Mention this promotion and you'll get a complimentary beat-down!

 Gargoyle Hill - The Church of the Gothic Lolita dominates the hill, surrounded by graveyards and dark, slippery cobblestone streets.  As you can imagine, gargoyles are a big part of the local aesthetic. The locals are pale and unsettling and some have a weird frog-like aspect to their appearance that it's best not to comment on. We recommend the Rio Tokyo Cafe near the train station. Not for the tea, but for the lovely taxidermied cats on display at each table. Creepy, but cool.

Scotland Square - For some reason, it's always foggy and chill around Scotland Square. Even at the height of summer. The locals don't seem to mind. They cater to caledonophiles. You can buy everything from single malt whiskey to cashmere scarfs in the little shops around the square. In the evening, bagpipers take to the rooftops and play awful, mournful songs until midnight. (After midnight, anyone playing the bagpipes in Wizard City can be killed with no consequences except a heartfelt "Thank you!" and a nice commemorative ribbon.) We recommend grabbing a drink at The Phantom Bagpiper, which has the best whiskey in town!

West Valley - On the surface, there isn't much to see in West Valley unless you're into suburban decay. Old housing developments sit mostly abandoned and forlorn, slowly being eaten by the surrounding countryside, and packs of feral children run through the streets hunting the smaller packs of feral dogs. But the area has an interesting history.  Colonel Sherman West was born here and his childhood home is a museum, meticulously maintained by volunteers. West was a hero of the Great Chicken War, defeating Cockzilla in personal combat. After the war, the Colonel dabbled in necromancy and fast food, combining the two and creating the popular ZomBurger chain. We recommend checking out the Colonel West Home Museum, unless you're sensitive to hauntings, as we're told the building is quite active, paranormally speaking.

Shadow Yard - At the beginning of the Magical Girl Apocalypse, somebody dropped nukes. A lot of people died from the nukes, but a lot of people got changed into Shadow People. After the war, Shadow Yard is where many of them congregated for processing as they sought to build new lives in Wizard City. Some have compared Shadow Yard to Ellis Island, but others compare it to an internment camp. Today, Shadow Yard is the site of the Shadow Experience Museum, an immersive experience where people can relive the shock, trauma and fear of the Shadow People as they were detained in near-lightless conditions while their citizenship applications were processed. Thankfully, only eight people a year now die from going through the Shadow Experience. It used to be much higher, which had a negative impact on the local tourist industry. We recommend the Shadow Experience Museum, and also Hiroshima Josie's Light Bar & Eatery across the road from the museum. Great food in comfortable surroundings!

Lake LeFay - Named after the city's founder, Lake LeFay offers a pleasant respite from the hurly-burly of big city life. The lake was created during a wizards' duel and the waters are innately magical. The lake never freezes, even during the coldest winters, and is home to a number of attractive drowning spirits who attempt to lure joggers and passersby to a watery grave. Swimming and boating are prohibited, but fishing from the shore is allowed as long as one signs a waver releasing the city from any indemnity.

University Square - The site of Wizard University, University Square is a large concrete plaza containing a large iron statue of the University's founder, Doctor J. Krowling.  It is commonly agreed that the statue is very bad, but even though everyone talks about replacing it, it never seems to happen.  The University itself is a collection of old, rather drafty buildings fronting the square with tattered and faded banners hanging over the entrances. The student body is quite small as entrance to the University is achieved via magical blood-duels carried out in the Square each autumn. It is a hugely popular event and attracts thousands of spectators. The University is not open to the general public, for safety reasons, but private tours can be arranged for a hefty fee via the Bursar's Office.

Blood Valley - The apocalypse warped nature in all manner of ways and Blood Valley is an excellent example of that disruption. All the trees in the valley bleed. Blood pours from their trunks, down their limbs, staining the earth and filling the air with the distinctive coppery smell of fresh-spilt blood. Most people find it very off-putting for one reason or another, while a certain type of person finds the Valley quite to their 'taste.' Literally.

Blood Valley is home to a wide variety of hemovores, but mostly garden-variety vampires. The warped nature of the place allows them to slake their thirst for blood without actually inconveniencing anyone. In fact, an entire cottage industry has evolved in the area, akin to the maple syrup industry, wherein the locals tap the trees for fresh blood that they preserve and sell to outsiders. If you go to Blood Valley, we recommend that you visit one of the mom & pop blood bottling operations. Also, make sure to wear boots you can rinse clean!

Merlin's Gargoyle - No one knows the origin of this gigantic gargoyle statue, but it's believed to predate the Magical Girl Apocalypse.  Local lore surrounding the statue is varied and contradictory. Regardless of its origins, the statue is the largest free-standing statue in the city and attracts a great many tourists to the area. If you go, we recommend visiting late in the day when the crowds are thinner.

Maiden City - Maiden City is one of those tourist attractions that draws people because of its infamous history. The neighborhood was the sight of the Washburn Clinic for Moral Correction, a facility that offered to "correct" the memories and personalities of sexually aggressive young women. It accomplished this via a combination of neuro-electrical stimulation, surgery and extensive drug therapies. At one point, the Washburn Clinic housed 300 'patients' in various stages of 'treatment.' The clinic, and its founder, came to a messy end when the Radical Anti-Virgin Front firebombed the facility. The RAVF's leader, Ophelia Shakespeare, killed Doctor Washburn by publicly castrating him. With her teeth.  Since then, Maiden City has become a haven for those who don't conform to the sexual norm. If you go to Maiden City, we recommend checking out the Happy Rainbow Sex Museum for its collection of auto-erotic automata, and the Convent of the Virgins of St. Gwar, a cloistered nunnery whose members are easily recognizable by the grotesque masques that they wear in public.

Forest Square- Forest Square is an area, exactly one city block in size, occupied by artificial trees. They are part of a public art installation created by noted artiste, Kashmere Van Der Kant. Exactly what the installation is meant to symbolize remains unknown, as Van Der Kant died moments after overseeing the installation of the final synthetic tree.  The installation was left in place by the city and remains in good shape, although several homeless bands have made camp in the installation in recent months. If you go to Forest Square, we recommend going in the day and being reasonably well-armed.

The Black Manticore - Found at the bottom of a short flight of stairs down a narrow, dirty alleyway, the Black Manticore is the most famous bar in Wizard City. They say Colonel West got the idea for ZomBurger while at the Manticore, and that Marie-Ann LeFay killed her mirror doppelganger assassin in the ladies' room. Legend and lore collect and metastasize around the Black Manticore, and the owner, Elvis Vonnegut IV, denies none of them. The place attracts a diverse clientele, ranging from the most morally dissolute to some who could be considered saints. If you go to the Black Manticore, we recommend health insurance, body armor and a selection of lethal weapons. Also, a cast iron liver, as the drinks in the Manticore will knock you on your ass.

Opera Square - The Wizard City Opera House dominates this square. It is a grande dame of a building, a massive confection of marble, concrete and spun diamantine glass. The building was designed and built by the mad genius, Isobard Drayborn, and there are rumors that his ghost still haunts the attics. The building has an unusual history, having burned down twice, been flooded three times and ravaged by a tornado. It has always been rebuilt with miraculous alacrity thanks to the support of the Society of the Incurably Rich. There is a lively betting pool among the locals, patrons and employees as to what sort of disaster will strike the Opera House next. If you visit the Opera House we recommend wearing comfy shoes, always knowing where the nearest exit is and not playing at ghost-baiting.

South Dee -  This nondescript lane of rather shabby looking buildings is the home of most of Wizard City's enchanters and potion-brewers. Also flim-flam artists, confidence men, hoaxers, fakers, cheats and farces. The common attitudes on the street are 'Let the buyer beware' and 'There's a sucker born every minute.'  That said, if you know what you're looking for, you can find some good deals on South Dee, as well as some things that may not be entirely legal. If you go to South Dee, we recommend checking out Pratchett's, a reputable shop dealing mostly in minor enchanted items and less explosive potions.

If you decide to visit Wizard City, we recommend going between February and June, and traveling via air-whale. Although rail service has lately been established with the cities of New Genocide and Rad Island, there are still many chicken-people tribes lurking in the countryside just waiting for a chance to attack a train full of succulent, delicious non-chickens. Also, travel via air-whale is cheaper and more comfortable.

On February 14, the Love Parade makes its way around Wizard City. On this day, wizards traditionally cast random love/lust spells on the populace, to ensure that the city's population continues to grow.

May 5th is the start of the Founder's Day Celebrations. Founder's Day is actually a week-long event. During this week, laws regarding recreational substances are suspended and everybody gets blotto.

May 12th is Hangover Day. On this day, the entire city shuts down. Only the trains continue to run, operated by constructs who weren't able to get blotto during the past week.

Enjoy your trip!

Pandora - Part 3

 What to See?

There are a number of interesting sites to explore around the city.

The Royal Palace is the thing most newcomers want to see, and it is impressive. The building sprawls so much that it occupies its own district. Not only is it the biggest building in Pandora, it is also one of the oldest. Local folklore says that Pandora herself placed the first foundation stone. (It also says that her legendary box is buried somewhere beneath the place!)

The Palace is surrounded by high walls and expansive gardens. It's not generally open to the public except on certain holidays, such as Candlemarch on February 3 or Saint Torolo's Day on August 18th. (However! Private tours of the grounds can be arranged, if you pay the right people!)

Saint Penitants Hospital is another popular attraction (Believe it or not!). The hospital offers tours of its asylum for 3r per person and children under ten get in for free. Visitors can ramble along an elevated walkway above the cells of incurably insane eccentrics, looking down on them as they go about their business. Some of the patients look forward to the visitors and can be quite chatty.  (Don't worry. The Really Dangerous Incurables are locked up elsewhere!)

Visitors to Saint Penitants can also observe various operating theaters, where you can watch surgeons perform appendectomies or even some of the experimental surgeries that the hospital is known for. (If this is your cup of tea, we recommend finding a seat in the gallery overlooking the recovery ward. It's always interesting to see how someone reacts when they wake up and discover their fingers have been replaced with tentacles.)

The Carnvial District is, of course, a big draw for newcomers.  Place du Cirque is the site of a permanent carnival, which includes a roller coaster, a ferris wheel and various midway attractions.  There is also a big top where traditional circus acts are still performed. (Be warned though, that if you have a thing about Clowns, you probably want to avoid Carnival District because those creepy fuckers are everywhere!)

But don't worry if the circus isn't your cup of tea. Carnival District offers a wide range of amusements, ranging from theaters and concert halls to night clubs, brothels and casinos. There are also plenty of street performers. Note that the district's amusements are closed by law on Sundays and cannot reopen until sunset on Ragsday.

After experiencing the mad whirl of the Carnival District, the Garden District can provide a nice change of pace. The Garden District is owned by the Royal Family, but it is open the public. The entire district consists of nothing but parks and gardens. In the warmer months, it's a riot of bright flowers, but during the winter days, many garden enthusiasts appreciate the geometry and structure of the place.  There are wide green fields where games of football and rugby are played, kites can be flown (Kite flying is a Very Popular pastime!), and picnics can be enjoyed.  In July, the Eyfendrewbri Music Festival takes place in the Garden District, and in September locals gather for the Burning Mime festival. (Burning Mime is just what it sounds like. Convicted mimes are packed into a giant wicker mime and set ablaze. People love it. The mimes? Not so much.)

If you're interested in sport, the only proper athletic venue in the city is King Bailey's Stadium, in Karcell. Known commonly as the Stadium, it was built in 1924 by King Bailey, an avid bato enthusiast.  In 1985, the Stadium was torn down and rebuilt. Today, the Stadium hosts a wide range of athletic events, everything from boxing and wrestling to indoor rugby and bato. (Bato is a popular local game. Its a bit like soccer, but the players can only touch the ball with wooden clubs, and there are no such things as personal fouls. A good game usually involves broken bones. Pandorans love it.)

There isn't much to see outside the city. Some of the farms and manors do offer tours, but that's about it.  Some photographers are enchanted by the island's windsept tundra-like landscape, and there are a couple of photo safaris available in the summer, but that's about it. (Also, wandering outside the city increases your chances of encountering wild grendels which would be a Very Bad Thing!)

 

 

Pandora - Part 2

 What is it?

An island that you won't find on any map, and a city on that island.

Where is it?

No one is sure. Most people who've been there believe it's somewhere in the North Atlantic, based on the climate and the terrain. However, Pandora's exact location is unknown, and all attempts to quantitatively locate it fail spectacularly.

Why is it?

If you believe the locals, the island was the refuge of the mythical Pandora, who fled there after the whole incident with the box.  They say she was taken pity on by some unnamed power, greater than the Hellenic pantheon, and spirited away to the island that now bears her name, so that she could find some measure of peace.

Others followed in her footsteps and the native Pandorans are all descended from refugees, exiles and a myriad of others who fled the outside world because it no longer held a safe place for them.  As such, they tend to be very welcoming to individuals in trouble.

 How do you get there?

The only way to get to Pandora is by the Pandoran Ferry. It's a boat that travels to and from the island at least once a month, although sometimes twice. It is the only vessel that can reach the island. Any others that try fail. Most are never seen or heard from again. The Ferry puts into various ports around the world, from Boston to Hong Kong to Capetown.  There is a schedule, but it seems to change often and to the whims of the Ferry's mysterious Captain. Rumors of the Ferry's arrival circulate locally about a week ahead of its actual appearance.  Passage is booked at the ship and the fees are negotiable. However, cabins fill up fast so get there early if you want a spot.

When the Ferry departs for Pandora, it seems to enter a timeless, misty realm where neither the sun, moon or stars are visible. Watches and personal electronics will usually stop working. The only reliable timepiece on the Ferry is the Captain's pocket watch.

Travelers are advised to stay below deck, in their cabin or the passenger lounge. Sometimes people vanish off the deck.  The Ferry's crew refer to these disappearances as the Toll. Some of them whisper about the Monsters in the Mist, but these sailors usually don't last too long on the Ferry.

 What happens when you arrive?

The Ferry will arrive at the docks. There, passengers disembark into the waiting arms of island officials.

You'll be taken to the Customs Office on Peabody Street. There, you will be examined by a doctor from Saint Penitents, and interviewed by the Customs Officer, Mister Barthenel(Who is Very Nice). Your belongings will be searched. Contraband items will be seized.  You may be searched, as well, but this happens Very Rarely.  Any currency you have will be exchanged for the Pandoran rho. (Don't worry, the exchange rate is very fair.)  You'll be issued an identification card with your picture on it. (The picture is usually a Very Good Sketch but sometimes a Very Unflattering Photograph.)  After all of this, you'll sit through a very short film to help familiarize yourself with local etiquette and then you'll be allowed to enter the city.

 The Welcome Wagon

Once you leave the Customs Office, we recommend that you visit the Welcome Wagon. It is just outside the Customs Office.

The Welcome Wagon is a bright pink truck, mounted on cinderblocks, surrounded by wooden troughs full of brightly colored plastic pinwheels. In its previous life, it was an ice cream truck. Now, it is the Welcome Wagon.

The Welcome Wagon is a free resource available to all newcomers to Pandora. It is sponsored by the Knitting Society and the Royal Philanthropic League. It is open from 10:00 AM to 5:00 PM, Monday thru Saturday, and closed Sunday and Ragsday. (Note that the Pandoran week has eight days, the seven days your familiar with and then Ragsday.)

The Welcome Wagon is usually staffed by Mrs. Allwall of the Knitting Society and Mr. Yanel from the Royal Philanthropic League. (Don't stare at Mr. Yanel's glass eye; it's Rude and Very Bad Luck.)

The Welcome Wagon can provide newcomers with all sorts of useful information: a map of the city, subway schedules, information on various neighborhoods, the best place to buy yarn, how much to tip the maître d' at Kvaltjen's to get a Good Table and what to do if you run into a wild grendel in the city. (The last one happens Very, Very Rarely! We promise!)

The Welcome Wagon can also provide resources on where to find a job, where to find somewhere to live and a list of social organizations where you can make new friends and learn interesting new skills such as firewalking or knife-catching.

 Where to Stay?

Honestly, that depends on if you're just visiting or plan on staying.

If you're visiting, we recommend the Santa Clause Hotel, on Bavwen Plaza in Starwell. It's just a short walk from Nightjohn Station, and close to the Carnival District and Old Town, so there's lots of fun and interesting things to do. The prices are very affordable, 9r per night for a single occupancy, 15r per night for a double.

If you fancy something more upscale (and Expensive!), we would recommend the Knizbeth Inn, on Gerr Street, in the Three Princes District. The Knizbeth Inn is close to the Palace, the Garden District and Peverelle. Fine dining and all manner of entertainments are nearby, and the Inn's staff are more than happy to make recommendations. Be warned, though, that rooms at the Knizbeth Inn are a bit pricey. An average room will cost you 40r a night! (But that includes a host of amenities, including Hot & Cold Running Room Servants. Yowza!)

However, if you plan on staying in Pandora, you'll want to find more long-term accommodations that won't empty your pockets.

Many newcomers find their feet at the Bellerephon Apartments in Oceanview. They're very affordable(30r per month), the lease is month-to-month, and they offer a striking view of the ocean. (They're also supposedly Haunted, which would explain the cheap rent and high renter turnover rate.)

House-sharing is common, especially among the Outsider community. You can usually find such accommodations available in Old Town and the University District.

If you're really strapped for cash, (Or just want to save your pennies) there are flophouses in the Wharf District as well as the Seahorse District. Be warned though that flophousers tend to be dirty, dangerous and/or mad.

If you're Really Desperate, you could always sleep rough in the Garden District or take up residence in one of the old, abandoned homes just outside the city.  There are several such houses within walking/bicycling distance of Functionary Station and Raven's End.

If you're Completely Crazy, you can go to Saint Penitents Hospital. They'll give you a nice, warm bed every night, but you have to agree to take part in their Medical Experiments. (So you might not wake up from that nice, warm bed they offered you, or you might wake up with more appendages than when you went to sleep!)

And, if you're Suicidal, you could sleep on the Underground. Be warned though, if the Train Police catch you sleeping rough on the Underground, they'll give you a good kicking(if you're Lucky!) or just throw you to the Gap Monsters.

 How to Get Around?

Many newcomers are surprised at how easy it is to get around Pandora.

The main means of getting around is the Underground. This is the subway system that extends beneath the city. Please note that the Underground is not actually considered part of Pandora, and that it falls under the authority of the King of the Underground. (More about His Subterrestreal Majesty later!)

The trains run all night and all day, all year long, except for the Silent Days in December. Otherwise, the trains are quick, efficient and mostly safe. Infractions of the Underground rules, posted prominently in Stations and on the trains themselves, are dealt with swiftly and violently by the red-coated Train Police. (Trust us. You do NOT want to get caught Breaking the Underground Rules.)

If the Underground seems daunting, there are many surface travel options.

There are City Buses (Antiquated things apparently imported from the automobile graveyards of various third-world nations!) that run most of the week from about 7:00 AM to 10:00 PM.  An in-district round-trip ticket costs 1r. Traveling between districts costs one additional rho. There are no transfers between the Buses and the Underground. The buses run on bio-diesel and smell pleasantly of French fries.

Aside from Military, Police and Rescue Service vehicles, motor vehicles are forbidden within the city. However, there are transport options.

Rickshaws are cheap, costing 1r per person for every mile pulled. Rickshaw wallahs are Very Fit and Very Knowledgeable about the city. (They're also prone to Road Rages that can amass impressive body counts!)

Bicycles and rickshaws are common throughout Pandora, and it isn't odd to spot a palanqueen being carried about some of the richer neighborhoods.

Horses and horse-drawn carriages are allowed in the city, but maintaining a mount is expensive. Stables charge between 5 and 10r per week just for stabling. Feed costs extra.

Traveling by hired carriage is usually more expensive than taking the Bus or the Underground, but it's also more private. Carriage-taxis charge 1r per mile and many are only licensed to operate in one district.  Unlicensed taxis(Commonly known as wild horses) operate illegally across the entire city, but are at risk of being stopped by the blackjacks. The carriage driver and any occupants are likely to get thrown in jail. The horse is likely to be seized by the government and sent to the Farms outside the city or publicly auctioned off to various interested parties. (Which includes some very well known restaurants!)

Travel by foot is probably the most common means of getting around the city. Pandoran neighborhoods are very pedestrian friendly.

Of course, the efficiency of all of these modes of transport are influenced by the season. During the warm months of spring and summer, traveling by foot and rickshaw is no great difficulty. However, in autumn and winter, when the snows fall, travel by anything other than City Bus and Underground can be a bit daunting. After the first snowfall, rickshaws vanish from the city streets and don't appear again until spring.

 What to Eat?

The Pandoran diet is mostly protein, with lots of fats and some random carbohydrates on the side. Fish and mutton are common and pretty cheap. Beef is available, but it's expensive. So is horse. Pork has to be imported and is Very Expensive. Birds, by Pandoran law, can only be eaten by the Royal Family, and they only eat them during special events.

Milk is plentiful, thanks to dairies outside the city. Milk products, such as cheeses and sour cream, can be found in most stores.

Outside of certain legal restrictions, variations on most world cuisines can be found in the city, although with a unique Pandoran twist. For example, you can buy fried potatoes pretty much everywhere, but if you want an American-style hamburger, you'll have to go to one of the more expensive restaurants around town.

The variety of fresh fruit and vegetables available to Pandorans was very limited until the last ten years or so, when a group of enterprising Pandorans constructed large greenhouses around the city. Now Pandorans can enjoy things like strawberries and tomatoes year round. More exotic fruits, like pineapples and mangos, still have to be imported and are Expensive. (At one time, fresh pineapples were given as wedding presents because they were so expensive!)

 Where to Eat?

If you've got the rhos, the best restaurant in Pandora is Kvaltjen's. It's on Sochi Avenue, in Three Princes District.  Seating is by appointment only, and the menu is set, but changes every couple of days. This restaurant is Very Expensive but well worth the price. The food is extraordinary. The service is exemplary. (It's rumored that Kvaltjen's caters private dinners where emissaries from Pandora and the Underground meet to discuss various topics of mutual interest.)

If you want a less expensive and more traditional Pandoran dining experience, we suggest Mama Bonan's in Starwell District. This lively family restaurant offers traditional Pandoran cuisine six days a week. The menu is a la carte, and prices are Very Reasonable. Mama Bonan, the owner and cook, often steps into the dining room to chat with the customers. If she takes a shine to you, she might offer you some of her homemade kamstandeldost, a decadent desert consisting of chocolate, sour cream and fermented berries.

If you would rather have something quick, Pandora has a number of fast-food options.

Kendi's is a popular local chain, well known for its menu of fried fish, fried potatoes and fried cheese. Their mascot is a buxom, blonde cartoon girl with pigtails believed to be based on the founder's first wife. (Who disappeared under Mysterious Circumstances several years ago outside the city. They say she was carried off by wild grendels, but a body was Never recovered.)

L'experience Francaise is another popular local chain. Inspired by the Pandoran affection for all things French (Except mimes! Ugh!), L'experience Francaise offers soups and salads, as well as steak tartare, croque monsier, gratin dauphinois, ratatouille and aligot. Their restaurants are decorated in the red, white and blue colors of the French flag and employees are required to be fluent in French. (No big deal, since most Pandorans are multilingual, but it usually surprises newcomers.)

Nirvana Burger is a chain of vegetarian places that serve veggie burgers, French fries, salads and soups. They're open late and are very popular with the afterhours set.

FishFood is another popular chain, offering walk-through sushi and sake takeout boxes for a very reasonable price. (There's a rumor that Prince Oliver pops into the FishFood in Government Center, incognito, after a particularly grueling day governing the city. But don't tell anyone that we told you this!)

Then there are the usual range of food wagons and food carts offering everything from fried fish sandwiches to boiled mutton and spicy cheese poppers. If you do eat from a food wagon or cart, make sure it's displaying an official sticker from the Ministry of Health. These are usually safe. If they don't have the sticker, it's best to avoid them.

 Where to Shop?

Despite its remoteness, Pandora offers its residents a vigorous retail experience. You can find all of the essentials pretty easily and a surprisingly wide range of luxury goods. (Depending on your idea of luxury!)

Most neighborhoods have a corner grocery offering staple goods such as beer, wine, canned tuna, bar soap and toilet paper.

Pharmacies usually serve multiple neighborhoods and are always associated with a doctor's office, which must be associated with Saint Penitents.  Pandoran pharmacies often produce their own medicines (To Very Strict health standards!), and offer products that are restricted or illegal in other countries. For example, Kerndurg's Coca-Pills are an over-the-counter drug containing cocaine and advertised as a 'tonic for the body, mind and spirit.' A wide range of marijuana-laced products, ranging from stress tinctures to edibles, have been available to the Pandoran public for the last century, and marketed as cures for anxiety, hypertension and insomnia.

Specialty stores can be found throughout the city, operating as independent establishments. Unlike fast food, which has established chains across the city, retail establishments have yet to duplicate this feat.

Most districts have a central shopping street or plaza, akin to an American Main Street or a British High Street.  During the spring and summer, these streets and plazas often host open air markets where locals can by fresh produce, local arts and crafts.

And although retail chains and big box stores haven't sank their claws into Pandora, one outside retail institution did catch on: the shopping mall.

The first shopping center constructed in Pandora was the Shopping Center on Darvi Avenue, in Karcell. It was a huge two-story building, housing seventeen retail establishments, that opened in 1992. The Shopping Center was an enormous success and soon similar centers were being built across the city.  Most would fail and close, but some would thrive.

The biggest and best shopping center in the city is the Krishime Mall in Peverelle. Krishime Mall is a three-story building, housing forty two retail stores. It has a food court on the first floor and a movie theater on the second floor. Popular stores include Breklev's Jewels, Gilshe & Rankar Childrenswear, Yah Books and Cinderella's, a high-end dress shop patronized by Queen Lilah and Princess Yanelle.

The other major shopping center in Pandora is the Government Park Center, just a block away from the Government Park Station. Government Park Center is a one-story structure, housing twenty-one businesses, including a neighborhood market and a pharmacy/doctor's office.  Popular stores in the mall include William Slade, a fashionable menswear store; Sizaku Steps, the most expensive shoe-store in Pandora, and ChadComp, which sells rebuilt computers and electronics.

However, the vast majority of Pandora's retail establishments remain homegrown mom & pop businesses, serving the needs of their neighborhood or a select clientele.

For example, Exile's Market, in Oceanview, focuses on serving the needs and wants of outsiders. Their stock apparently consists of goods imported from off-island. In reality, however, the majority of the goods are from local sources. The owner of Exile's also owns a print shop and he slaps new labels on existing packaging. Everybody knows he does it, but everybody plays along because it's a nice gesture. (And, according to rumors, sometimes he actually does get legitimate outside products that he sells to his customers.)

There is also a Black Market, which sells illegal goods (like frozen chicken nuggets) smuggled through Customs or brought ashore by shady sailors from the Ferry. Occasionally, contraband goods (like Gap Monster teeth) are brought up from the Underground.

The Black Market is well-organized, Very Very Paranoid and Extremely Dangerous. Black marketers disguise themselves with masks and magics, deal only in cash and vanish at the first hint of trouble. Mostly, they meet among the failed neighborhoods north and east of the city, although sometimes transactions are carried out on the busy streets of the Carnival District, the back of a City Bus, or shunned places like Sorrow's Point.

Getting caught buying or selling black market goods is a serious offense and has serious consequences. We highly recommend you don't get involved! (Unless you absolutely HAVE to HAVE the latest version of Grand Theft Auto!)

Another source of goods (Less dangerous than the Black Market?) is the Underground. Underground Markets pop up randomly beneath the city according to an eccentric schedule known only to the King of the Underground and the Market Master. The Underground Market is sometimes allowed to set up in an Underground Station, which attracts all sorts of attention from the Pandoran authorities. However, since the Underground isn't part of Pandora, there isn't really anything the blackjacks and inspectors can do but glower and glare at people. And if they do that too much, the Train Police will tell them to leave.

You can find items in the Underground Market that you can't find elsewhere in Pandora. By mutual agreement, the Underground Market doesn't sell items that Pandora considers contraband. You won't find firearms or frozen chicken breasts for sale, but you can find hallucinogenic mushrooms and bioluminescent fungi, as well as antiques of dubious origin and exotic fruits and vegetables, such as spiked cabbages and abrabananas. You can even find people selling maps to the Long Stair and the Brass Door.  If you do buy anything from the Underground Market, just be warned that doing so might attract unwanted attention from the authorities.

25 Inns for Your Fantasy Campaigns

01 The Happy Purse

Of course your purse'll be happy. This place is a dump. For 3c a night you get a cot with a straw pallet in a big communal dormitory. There's no bar and no food, but you can find those close by. The place is clean and doesn't have fleas, but they throw everybody out in the morning so they can scrub the whole place down. Then they don't start renting cots out again until sunset. The staff, what there is, is just kind of there, but the manager doesn't take crap from anybody. Anyone causes problems, he screams for the watch. But, if you're looking for a cheap place to sleep for a night in town, mostly free of 'drama' and free of fleas, then this place might be for you. 2/5 Stars.

02 The Three Coins

The Three Coins is a nice establishment on a quiet little sidestreet in one of the town's nicer neighborhoods. It's two stories tall, with only four rooms to let, but those rooms are nice. The prices are high: 3g per room, per night. There's a good restaurant downstairs, and meals are included for guests. The staff is polite, efficient and discreet. That said, their clientelle tends to be a bit sleezy; the children of lesser nobility, social-climbing merchants, wealthy individuals looking for somewhere to have discreet assignations. 4/5 Stars.

03 The White Lady

A comfortable hostel in a recently gentrified neighborhood of the city. It's a two-story building made of gray stone with eight rooms on the second floor. The rooms are comfortable, if unremarkable. The prices are reasonable, 8s per room per night. There is a common room, that serves beer and spirits, but the food is average. That said, the lunch special is very popular with locals during the day. The service is competant, if unremarkable, and the rooms are clean. The biggest complaint I've heard concerns noise from the next street over, the site of several taverns and festival halls. 3/5 Stars.

04 The Inn-by-the-City-Gates

You could walk by this place and never notice it. Prior to becoming an inn, it was a watchman's barracks and a temporary jail. That probably explains the miniscule, airless rooms and why there always seems to be a watchman in the common room. There are six rooms above the common room, which is open late. The atmosphere of the place can be boisterous and sound penetrates the rooms, so sometimes a good night's sleep is difficult to get. That said, the inn has loyal customers and the common room's crowd is large and varied; in addition to the aforementioned watchmen, you can observe merchants talking with craftsmen and artisans, local shopkeepers hobnobbing with street musicians and even some rather shady types holding court in the darker corners of the room. Prices are 1s per room per night. The staff here is very friendly and attentive, willing to go that extra mile to make your stay pleasant. Unfortunately, the place could use more frequent cleaning; dust seems to cover everything and get everywhere, but I couldn't tell you where it comes from. 2/5 Stars.

05 The Reindeer's Head. 

A rustic lodge on the Northern Road, outside the city, this inn's name comes from the reindeer's head that's stuffed and mounted in the common room. The place is bigger than it looks, with twelve rooms to let, ranging in price from 5s for a standard double to 8s for something bigger and nicer. There's even a suite that can be rented, in advance, for 1g per night. The place gets a lot of traffic and fills up quickly, so if you plan on staying here stop early. The staff is average and the place is fairly clean. The common room is large, serves big portions of average food, and offers a limited range of spirits. The bar closes at ten each night, no exceptions, and loud drunks aren't tolerated. 

Then there's the reindeer's head itself. It's mounted above the bar in the common room and there are stories about it. People say that on Midwinter's Eve, the head comes to life and starts to sing odd songs about a strange fellow who lives far to the north. At midnight, it stops singing and will utter a prediction for the new year that always comes true.

Of course, the owners deny these stories, but they always close the place during the week of Midwinter and never say why. 3/5 Stars.

06 The Heart & Hands

A three-story establishment on the border between the good part of town and the bad, the industrial area and the commercial district. The outside is painted bright yellow and there's an impressive, albeit faded, mural of the inn's namesakes on one side. They have twelve small rooms to let for 5s per night, and rent pallets on the first floor for 1s.  There isn't a common room or a restaurant, but there are eateries close by. The staff is small and overworked and sometimes the condition of the rooms is less than stellar. Beware the bedbugs and fleas. 1/5 Stars.

07 The Quiet House

This establishment can be found tucked away at the end of a dead-end lane, surrounded by townhomes and guildhalls. The Quiet House is a two-story clapboard building with a small front porch, a nice rear garden and a newly-replaced roof. There are only four rooms to let, but they're comfortable and clean. There's no common room, but the owners do provide home-cooked meals. Intoxicants of any type are not allowed. Nor is the practice of magic, although magic-users are tolerated. The front doors are locked at 9:00 p.m. every night. If you get locked out, you can sleep on the porch. 

There is a supernatural quietness permeating the house, the result of a magic ritual that went awry and blew the roof off the place over a decade ago. It's impossible to communicate above a whisper within the house. 3/5 Stars.

08 The Bed & Bar

The Bed & Bar is a large, four story establishment containing eighteen rooms to let, as well as a full-service bar housed in another building. Both businesses are connected by a covered walkway, and both are open 24-hours a day, seven days a week. Room prices range from 5s to 2g, and they're worth the money. The staff is professional and courteous and the rooms are immaculate. The bar offers a complete range of drinks, and a rotating selection of tasty snacks. However, if you want a proper meal you'll have to go elsewhere. The owners of The Bed & Bar are a young couple and their clients tend to be younger as well, and socially egalitarian. It's not uncommon to take a seat at the bar and find yourself talking with a young, socially consciouse arisocrat on one side, and a working-class craftsman on the other. 4/5 Stars.

09 The Numbered House

The Numbered House is easily found in its village; it's the only building with an official street number, meaning it's the only building the postal guilds can deliver mail to reliably. The house itself is an ugly  two-story building made of fitted, gray blocks. It has six rooms to let at 5s per night. It has two additional rooms to let over the stables, out back, for 1s per night.  The Numbered House does not have a common room, but it does serve supper. The food is adequate, if bland. The staff is unfriendly, but competant. Complaints and requests are ignored. More than one guest has stormed out after arguing with the owner over some addendum to the bill. Honestly, if it's summer and it's not raining, you would do better to sleep outdoors. 1/5 Stars.

10 The Rare Beauty

Built in the style of a miniature palace, The Rare Beauty is a pink and peach confection that stands out like a sore thumb.  It is tasteless and tacky, ridiculously overpriced and badly staffed. There are velvet paintings everywhere. The place reeks of scented candles and potpourri. They lose staff like a leper loses fingers. Despite all of this, the place is a huge success, booked solid well in advance by rich holiday-takers who seem to think the place is some kind of deliberate joke. I weep for the future. 3/5 Stars.

11 The Blue Anchor

It would be easy to describe this seaside motel as cheap and clean with a friendly staff, but that would be a disservice. With fourteen rooms to let, at 5s per night, the Blue Anchor is an affordable favorite for many travelers heading to the shore. It doesn't have a restaurant, but it does have a bar, manned by an actual bartending wizard. The bartender can magically create the perfect drink for an individual thanks to a unique spell that only he knows. Of course, if the bar's customers get out of hand, the bartending wizard isn't shy about casting Findel's Firebolt or Sinhaven's Mass Sleep. Customers tend to be jolly, but very well-behaved. 4/5 Stars.

12 The Magic Tankard

The Magic Tankard is a tavern/inn about twelve miles north of the city gates.  The place is a single-story establishment, with fourteen rooms to let. Most of the rooms are a bit small, but the prices are good, ranging from 3c for a common room to 3g for a fine suite. The staff is well known for their friendliness and professionalism, and the place is kept in an immaculate condition. It is very popular with merchants, mercenaries and adventurers. Occasionally, a brawl breaks out in the common room, but it is quickly put down by the place's bouncer, a green-haired she-brute named Monika Panbera. 3/5 Stars.

13 The Goat & Shepherd

The Goat & Shepherd is an idyllic country inn with ten rooms to let for 5s per night. The place is quiet and clean, with a reasonably efficient staff.  Most of the common room trade comes from the locals, and the barmaids can be a font of useful local information. Outsiders are generally viewed with suspicioun by the locals. 3/5 Stars.

14 The Traveler's Dream

The Traveler's Dream is anything but. A sprawling one-story building with fourteen rooms to let, the place has changed hands about five times in the last decade. The current owner is a cheerful idiot named Hawthorne.  The rooms are let for 6s per night, and the acomodations are average. However, the staff is ancient, comprised of septugenerains who should have retired long, LONG ago.  There's a common room which offers buffet style eating, but the beer and spirits are definitely sub-par.  Room service is available, but we don't recommend using it. 2/5 Stars.

15 The Priest's Head

The Priest's Head is a one-story brick building that offers nine rooms to let for the evening. The cost of a room is only 5c, and you can get a space in the common room for free for as long as they're available. The inn is run by the Church and the service is less than stellar. The entire place could use a good cleaning. They offer cheap beer and watered down wine in the small common room, and simple foodstuffs like bread, cheese and boiled mutton. The name of the place derives from an unpleasant incident in the distant past. Frequent guests claim that they've seen a headless priest wandering the hallways late at night. The Church doesn't deny these claims, but they don't confirm them either. Stay here at your own risk. 2/5 Stars.

16 The Fine Dish

The Fine Dish is a single-story hostel with thirteen rooms to let for about 6s per night. However, what really sets this place apart from others is its restaurant. The Fine Dish has a large restaurant, overseen by Valerius Cain, one of the finest chefs in the whole wide world. He could be employed in any one of a dozen royal courts, so what Cain is doing working in The Fine Dish is something of a mystery. He refuses to discuss his reasons and can become quite violent if pushed, and he is an expert with knives. Irregardless, Chef Cain has put The Fine Dish on the map. The place is booked well in advance and serves the cream of society.  The staff is professional and friendly, in a detached way, and the rooms are airy and clean. 5/5 Stars.

17 The Red Eagle

The Red Eagle is a pleasant three-story country inn midway between the trading towns of Highmarket and Turner's Shank. As such, the Red Eagle is always busy. The common room never closes, and neither does its kitchen, although after midnight the menu offered is heavily restricted. The Red Eagle has eleven rooms to rent for 5s a night, but if booked solid the owner will happily let travelers sleep above the stables for 5c. The rooms are clean and the staff is fairly friendly.  The Red Eagle's owner, Adara Rexford, is a veteran of the Necromancer's War and she doesn't tolerate troublemakers of any kind. 4/5 Stars.

18 The Archer's Tree

The Archer's Tree is a pleasant little inn that has seven rooms to let for 5s per night. The inn itself is a three-story clapboard home with dark red shingles. In the front of the inn is a mighty oak and the inn's namesake. It's founder, Nestor Raburn, was an adventurer. When he retired, he and his old cronies would gather beneath the oak, to talk and drink. Eventually, Raburn built the inn. He died before it opened, but his heirs named it the Archer's Tree in honor of the oak that had provided Raburn and his friends with a comfortable meeting-place for over a decade.

The Archer's Tree is very nice. The Raburn family is very friendly, willing to go the extra mile to make their guest's stay as enjoyable as possible. The rooms are large, well-aired and very clean. The common room, although small, offers some nice local beers and complimentary tobacco to smokers. There are picnic tables set up beneath the oak tree in front of the inn, and at night patrons will gather there by lamplight to talk and drink and have a good time. 4/5 Stars.

19 The Three Bells

The Three Bells is an inn run by the Hospitable Order of St. Zeno in a neighborhood on the edge of the Commercial District. The Three Bells is a one story stone building that was once owned by the Weavers Guild.  It's common room is still frequented by many members of that guild to this day. The inn is clean and the brothers are nice but the Three Bells is definitely a no frills kind of establishment. They offer an evening meal with room rental, and a variety of watered-down beers and wines in the common room. The brothers do perform communal prayers but attendance is completely volluntary. 3/5 Stars.

20 The Fortunate Arms

The Fortunate Arms is a rather ramshackle building, six-stories tall, in a once-fashionable district of the city. It provides lodging to both permanent residents and nightly renters. The property is owned and managed by Mrs. Sephrena Quincy, a woman rumored to have ties to both the Spider Guild and the Scorpion Brotherhood. Rooms at the Fortunate Arms rent for 3g per night. The price includes use of the bath house next door, as well as two meals in the inn's restaurant. The Fortunate Arms has a rooftop bar open during the warmer months of the year. It is quite popular with residents, guests and locals. Known troublemakers are barred and repeat offenders are dealt with harshly by Mrs. Quincy and her bouncer, Fainol. 3/5 Stars.

21 The Bear's Den

The Bear's Den can be found about a day's travel south of the city. It's a two-story log and brick structure that has seen better days. The atmosphere of the place is a bit dark. Its ten rooms, rented for 6c per night, are small and poorly ventilated. The staff is reasonably competant but not, in our experience, the friendliest. The common room is large, smells of woodsmoke and everything seems covered by a fine layer of soot. We don't recommend the food, but the house beer is strong and cheap. Order is kept by the bartender and two bouncers, but trouble is rare. The Bear's Den caters mostly to cheap merchants, groups of religious pilgrims, students and migrant workers. It has a bad reputation with the locals, who usually refer folk looking for accomodation to other establishments. 2/5 Stars.

22 The White Fleece

The White Fleece is a squalid establishment on Eagle Street run by a wicked old crone named Esther Merrybones and her two daughters, known simply as Cinders and Rags. The flop has ten rooms that can be rented hourly, for 6c, or nightly, for 1s. The best thing to be said about this place is that it's fairly clean. There are no ammenities unless you count the streetwalkers who use this place for their business as such. We don't recommend this place unless you are truly desperate. 0/5 Stars.

23 The Angel Inn

A nondescript two-story building on a quiet, country lane near the market town of Gildstone, the Angel Inn is a fairly new hostel. Opened just seven months ago, the ten-room inn is run by Mrs. Edwina Spread. She claims the idea to open the inn came to her in a dream. Perhaps she should have kept dreaming. For 5s per night, you get an ordinary room and a meal. However, the service in the common room, and the rest of the hotel, leaves a lot to be desired. It is haphazard, at best, and, given the price, there are other establishments nearby that provide similar accomodations with better service. 2/5 Stars.

24 The Golden Antelope

The Golden Antelope occupies a three-story brick building, on Bell Street, in the Market District. It has ten spacious rooms to rent for 6s per night. The staff is excellent, attentive and professional. The common room is cozy, offering a wide range of spirits. There is a seperate restaurant for meals, and a light breakfast is included in the cost of the room. Both the common room and the restaurant are popular with the locals.

The inn's name derives from the small golden statue of an antelope that can be seen in the lobby. A thief tried to steal it once; his severed and preserved hands are on display in a glass case below the statue as a curiosity and a warning. 3/5 Stars.

25 The Two Bales

The Two Bales is the only inn in the farming town of Hen's Foot.  The nine room establishment, occupying a repurposed barn, charges 6c per night. The rooms are comfortable and clean, but the staff could be more professional. There is a common room, which has live music most nights. The food is unremarkable, and not included in the room cost, but the local beer is quite good. Most of The Two Bales clients are grain merchants and the like, folk who have business dealings with the farms surrounding Hen's Foot.  Occasionally a trade caravan stops for a night, but this mostly happens during the summer. 3/5 Stars.