What Scares Me the Most

Tonight, I forgot the password to this blog.

I suppose I could blame it on the glass of wine I'm drinking. Or the general sense of fatigue I've been experiencing for the last two days.

Or perhaps, it's just because I'm getting older. My brain isn't functioning as efficiently as it used to do.

That scares me, gentle reader. Not the spectre of death. Dying happens. It will happen to you. It will happen to me.

No, what scares me is losing who I am. Losing my memories. Becoming some pathetic thing curled up on his side in a state hospital wearing adult diapers and not knowing what's going on from one moment to another.

Losing myself is what scares me the most. Not dying.W

Like the Best Songs Do

It's almost 7PM and I'm sitting at the kitchen table, listening to Siouxsie and the Banshees', Cities in the Dust. It's my favorite song of theirs and it takes me back to earlier days. Not necessarily better days, just earlier.

Honestly, I look back at myself in my twenties and just shake my head. I never got into Trouble (with a capital 'T'), but I did take part in some Shennanigans that I probably shouldn't talk about here, even a billion years later. Those were fun times and this song just takes me back, makes me want to dance around the kitchen table and remember old friends, like the very best song do. 

Sometimes I Fly

Sometimes, I fly

climbing into the sky

on jets of dreams

and pillars of smoky

imagination.

And that sky

that I fly to

is a wonder:

full of stars

and moons

and ringed planets,

like something from

a classic Smashing Pumpkins'

video.

And there are others there,

other dreamers,

other flyers,

riding winged giraffes

and pink zeppelins

and roaring, smoky rockets.

And we fly together,

throught that other sky,

starteling flights of 

neon birds and 

disapproving angels,

until dawn beckons

us home.

Gone but not forgotten

There's been no sign of the rodent in 24 hours, so I'm pretty sure he's gone. There aren't a lot of places he could be hiding in my bedroom, unless he's chewed his way into the sofa and is in Stealth mode inside the frame. And I think that's unlikely, because he probably would have emerged some time during the night to look for food or water. And the other doors that lead to the outside, the closet and the bath are all closed. I'm pretty sure he's gone.

But he is not forgotten. My roommate has placed a sinister looking rat trap in my closet. So, if the rodent, or, God forbid, any of his pals appear in there again, they will hopefully come to a fatal end.  

In any event, I slept in the room last night and things seemed normal. However, I didn't sleep all that well. I kept having odd dreams, waking up and going 'Huh?' or 'What the hell is that about?' all night.  As a result, I am a bit tired and grumpy today and my legs ache. I'm not sure what's going on with that.

And now, I'm going to get dressed and get on with my day.