RIP Nichelle Nichols

 I just saw a news article about Nichelle Nichols passing.  She was a pioneer and an example for a lot of people, and even if her last few years were not ideal, the memory of her, and the example that she set and will continue to set, should be appreciated and celebrated. 

Wizard City

 

The Magical Girl Apocalypse has come and gone and the world has been changed forever. One of the first communities to rebuild and thrive in this brave, new world became known as Wizard City, in the nation formerly known as the USA.  Approximately 99% of the local population has some kind of magical ability. Most are minor, like knowing the precise moment a bottle of milk will spoil, or being able to magically remove warts. However, one percent of the locals possess formidable magical abilities, such as reanimating the dead or changing the weather to suit themselves. And, one percent of the local population has no magical ability whatsoever.

Getting around Wizard City is pretty easy. There's a very efficient subway system that runs twenty-four hours a day. Anyone who has to travel across the city uses the subway. All the gasoline got turned into lemonade, so cars are pretty useless, and all the horses turned into centaurs and they only give rides to the really pretty people. And even then, most people don't want to pay a centaur for a lift because the resulting equinoids are just really unfortunate looking. So, most people walk, bicycle or take the train.

Here are some interesting local sites, easily available via the subway.

 LeFey Square - One of the nicer city squares with a very good statue of Wizard City founder, Marie-Ann LeFey. She died in the Great Chicken War, but her memory survives. On Founders Day, the statue comes to life and leaves its pedestal to assess the city and publicly castigate the Mayor and City Founders if things aren't up to snuff.

The Black Center - The Black Center is the city's oldest art gallery and performing arts space. The Wizard City Philharmonic Orchestra plays there seasonally, and the Wizard City One-Man Band plays there far too often. The paintings in the gallery are nice, but many are magical and more than one patron has tumbled into a painting of the ocean and drowned. We recommend staying behind the red velvet ropes.

Shadow Town - This is where most of Wizard City's Shadow People live. It's not the nicest looking area, but Shadow People don't need anything but light to survive, so you can understand the scarcity of corner stores and public amenities. That said, after sundown, it is the brightest neighborhood in Wizard City.

 Tavern Street - If you're looking for a drink, the best place to go is Tavern Street. This winding street is comprised of almost nothing but drinking establishments. Everything from dangerous dive bars to hoity-toity private drinking clubs can be found here. So can a lot of drunks. We recommend that you don't wear shoes you like.

 Edgetown - This is the home of Wizard City's PAPS (Post-Apocalyptic Punk Scene). You can't walk down a street in Edgetown without spotting someone with a Day-Glo mohawk, vulgar tattoos and multiple piercings. Leather fetish gear is the norm here, and if you're a mutant with extra limbs or a conjoined psychic twin you're at the very pinnacle of local fashion. We recommend Mad Max's Rad Body Mod Shop for all your tattooing, piercing, scarification and fashion needs. Mention this promotion and you'll get a complimentary beat-down!

 Gargoyle Hill - The Church of the Gothic Lolita dominates the hill, surrounded by graveyards and dark, slippery cobblestone streets.  As you can imagine, gargoyles are a big part of the local aesthetic. The locals are pale and unsettling and some have a weird frog-like aspect to their appearance that it's best not to comment on. We recommend the Rio Tokyo Cafe near the train station. Not for the tea, but for the lovely taxidermied cats on display at each table. Creepy, but cool.

Scotland Square - For some reason, it's always foggy and chill around Scotland Square. Even at the height of summer. The locals don't seem to mind. They cater to caledonophiles. You can buy everything from single malt whiskey to cashmere scarfs in the little shops around the square. In the evening, bagpipers take to the rooftops and play awful, mournful songs until midnight. (After midnight, anyone playing the bagpipes in Wizard City can be killed with no consequences except a heartfelt "Thank you!" and a nice commemorative ribbon.) We recommend grabbing a drink at The Phantom Bagpiper, which has the best whiskey in town!

West Valley - On the surface, there isn't much to see in West Valley unless you're into suburban decay. Old housing developments sit mostly abandoned and forlorn, slowly being eaten by the surrounding countryside, and packs of feral children run through the streets hunting the smaller packs of feral dogs. But the area has an interesting history.  Colonel Sherman West was born here and his childhood home is a museum, meticulously maintained by volunteers. West was a hero of the Great Chicken War, defeating Cockzilla in personal combat. After the war, the Colonel dabbled in necromancy and fast food, combining the two and creating the popular ZomBurger chain. We recommend checking out the Colonel West Home Museum, unless you're sensitive to hauntings, as we're told the building is quite active, paranormally speaking.

Shadow Yard - At the beginning of the Magical Girl Apocalypse, somebody dropped nukes. A lot of people died from the nukes, but a lot of people got changed into Shadow People. After the war, Shadow Yard is where many of them congregated for processing as they sought to build new lives in Wizard City. Some have compared Shadow Yard to Ellis Island, but others compare it to an internment camp. Today, Shadow Yard is the site of the Shadow Experience Museum, an immersive experience where people can relive the shock, trauma and fear of the Shadow People as they were detained in near-lightless conditions while their citizenship applications were processed. Thankfully, only eight people a year now die from going through the Shadow Experience. It used to be much higher, which had a negative impact on the local tourist industry. We recommend the Shadow Experience Museum, and also Hiroshima Josie's Light Bar & Eatery across the road from the museum. Great food in comfortable surroundings!

Lake LeFay - Named after the city's founder, Lake LeFay offers a pleasant respite from the hurly-burly of big city life. The lake was created during a wizards' duel and the waters are innately magical. The lake never freezes, even during the coldest winters, and is home to a number of attractive drowning spirits who attempt to lure joggers and passersby to a watery grave. Swimming and boating are prohibited, but fishing from the shore is allowed as long as one signs a waver releasing the city from any indemnity.

University Square - The site of Wizard University, University Square is a large concrete plaza containing a large iron statue of the University's founder, Doctor J. Krowling.  It is commonly agreed that the statue is very bad, but even though everyone talks about replacing it, it never seems to happen.  The University itself is a collection of old, rather drafty buildings fronting the square with tattered and faded banners hanging over the entrances. The student body is quite small as entrance to the University is achieved via magical blood-duels carried out in the Square each autumn. It is a hugely popular event and attracts thousands of spectators. The University is not open to the general public, for safety reasons, but private tours can be arranged for a hefty fee via the Bursar's Office.

Blood Valley - The apocalypse warped nature in all manner of ways and Blood Valley is an excellent example of that disruption. All the trees in the valley bleed. Blood pours from their trunks, down their limbs, staining the earth and filling the air with the distinctive coppery smell of fresh-spilt blood. Most people find it very off-putting for one reason or another, while a certain type of person finds the Valley quite to their 'taste.' Literally.

Blood Valley is home to a wide variety of hemovores, but mostly garden-variety vampires. The warped nature of the place allows them to slake their thirst for blood without actually inconveniencing anyone. In fact, an entire cottage industry has evolved in the area, akin to the maple syrup industry, wherein the locals tap the trees for fresh blood that they preserve and sell to outsiders. If you go to Blood Valley, we recommend that you visit one of the mom & pop blood bottling operations. Also, make sure to wear boots you can rinse clean!

Merlin's Gargoyle - No one knows the origin of this gigantic gargoyle statue, but it's believed to predate the Magical Girl Apocalypse.  Local lore surrounding the statue is varied and contradictory. Regardless of its origins, the statue is the largest free-standing statue in the city and attracts a great many tourists to the area. If you go, we recommend visiting late in the day when the crowds are thinner.

Maiden City - Maiden City is one of those tourist attractions that draws people because of its infamous history. The neighborhood was the sight of the Washburn Clinic for Moral Correction, a facility that offered to "correct" the memories and personalities of sexually aggressive young women. It accomplished this via a combination of neuro-electrical stimulation, surgery and extensive drug therapies. At one point, the Washburn Clinic housed 300 'patients' in various stages of 'treatment.' The clinic, and its founder, came to a messy end when the Radical Anti-Virgin Front firebombed the facility. The RAVF's leader, Ophelia Shakespeare, killed Doctor Washburn by publicly castrating him. With her teeth.  Since then, Maiden City has become a haven for those who don't conform to the sexual norm. If you go to Maiden City, we recommend checking out the Happy Rainbow Sex Museum for its collection of auto-erotic automata, and the Convent of the Virgins of St. Gwar, a cloistered nunnery whose members are easily recognizable by the grotesque masques that they wear in public.

Forest Square- Forest Square is an area, exactly one city block in size, occupied by artificial trees. They are part of a public art installation created by noted artiste, Kashmere Van Der Kant. Exactly what the installation is meant to symbolize remains unknown, as Van Der Kant died moments after overseeing the installation of the final synthetic tree.  The installation was left in place by the city and remains in good shape, although several homeless bands have made camp in the installation in recent months. If you go to Forest Square, we recommend going in the day and being reasonably well-armed.

The Black Manticore - Found at the bottom of a short flight of stairs down a narrow, dirty alleyway, the Black Manticore is the most famous bar in Wizard City. They say Colonel West got the idea for ZomBurger while at the Manticore, and that Marie-Ann LeFay killed her mirror doppelganger assassin in the ladies' room. Legend and lore collect and metastasize around the Black Manticore, and the owner, Elvis Vonnegut IV, denies none of them. The place attracts a diverse clientele, ranging from the most morally dissolute to some who could be considered saints. If you go to the Black Manticore, we recommend health insurance, body armor and a selection of lethal weapons. Also, a cast iron liver, as the drinks in the Manticore will knock you on your ass.

Opera Square - The Wizard City Opera House dominates this square. It is a grande dame of a building, a massive confection of marble, concrete and spun diamantine glass. The building was designed and built by the mad genius, Isobard Drayborn, and there are rumors that his ghost still haunts the attics. The building has an unusual history, having burned down twice, been flooded three times and ravaged by a tornado. It has always been rebuilt with miraculous alacrity thanks to the support of the Society of the Incurably Rich. There is a lively betting pool among the locals, patrons and employees as to what sort of disaster will strike the Opera House next. If you visit the Opera House we recommend wearing comfy shoes, always knowing where the nearest exit is and not playing at ghost-baiting.

South Dee -  This nondescript lane of rather shabby looking buildings is the home of most of Wizard City's enchanters and potion-brewers. Also flim-flam artists, confidence men, hoaxers, fakers, cheats and farces. The common attitudes on the street are 'Let the buyer beware' and 'There's a sucker born every minute.'  That said, if you know what you're looking for, you can find some good deals on South Dee, as well as some things that may not be entirely legal. If you go to South Dee, we recommend checking out Pratchett's, a reputable shop dealing mostly in minor enchanted items and less explosive potions.

If you decide to visit Wizard City, we recommend going between February and June, and traveling via air-whale. Although rail service has lately been established with the cities of New Genocide and Rad Island, there are still many chicken-people tribes lurking in the countryside just waiting for a chance to attack a train full of succulent, delicious non-chickens. Also, travel via air-whale is cheaper and more comfortable.

On February 14, the Love Parade makes its way around Wizard City. On this day, wizards traditionally cast random love/lust spells on the populace, to ensure that the city's population continues to grow.

May 5th is the start of the Founder's Day Celebrations. Founder's Day is actually a week-long event. During this week, laws regarding recreational substances are suspended and everybody gets blotto.

May 12th is Hangover Day. On this day, the entire city shuts down. Only the trains continue to run, operated by constructs who weren't able to get blotto during the past week.

Enjoy your trip!