The UPS Song

Inspired by my recent experience dealing with UPS

Oh UPS driver,

the man in the van,

where did my package go?

Oh UPS driver,

the man in the van,

you say that you don't know.

Oh UPS driver,

the man in the van,

I think that you're telling a lie.

Oh UPS driver,

the man in the van,

I sort of want you to die.

Oh UPS rep,

the voice on the phone,

where did my package go?

Oh UPS rep,

the voice on the phone,

you say that you don't know.

Oh UPS rep,

the voice on the phone,

you seem so nice 

and distinguished.

Oh UPS rep,

the voice on the phone,

I'm not sure you understood English.

Oh UPS manager,

in your office,

where did my package go?

Oh UPS manager,

in your office,

you say that you don't know.

Oh UPS manager,

in your office,

I'm getting the run-around.

Oh UPS manager,

in your officer,

I'd bury you in the ground.

Oh UPS company,

big and rich,

where did my package go?

Oh UPS company,

big and rich,

no one there seems to know.

Oh UPS company,

big and rich,

I shouldn't expect any less.

Oh UPS company,

big and rich,

I hope you go out 

of business!