Pandora - Part 2

 What is it?

An island that you won't find on any map, and a city on that island.

Where is it?

No one is sure. Most people who've been there believe it's somewhere in the North Atlantic, based on the climate and the terrain. However, Pandora's exact location is unknown, and all attempts to quantitatively locate it fail spectacularly.

Why is it?

If you believe the locals, the island was the refuge of the mythical Pandora, who fled there after the whole incident with the box.  They say she was taken pity on by some unnamed power, greater than the Hellenic pantheon, and spirited away to the island that now bears her name, so that she could find some measure of peace.

Others followed in her footsteps and the native Pandorans are all descended from refugees, exiles and a myriad of others who fled the outside world because it no longer held a safe place for them.  As such, they tend to be very welcoming to individuals in trouble.

 How do you get there?

The only way to get to Pandora is by the Pandoran Ferry. It's a boat that travels to and from the island at least once a month, although sometimes twice. It is the only vessel that can reach the island. Any others that try fail. Most are never seen or heard from again. The Ferry puts into various ports around the world, from Boston to Hong Kong to Capetown.  There is a schedule, but it seems to change often and to the whims of the Ferry's mysterious Captain. Rumors of the Ferry's arrival circulate locally about a week ahead of its actual appearance.  Passage is booked at the ship and the fees are negotiable. However, cabins fill up fast so get there early if you want a spot.

When the Ferry departs for Pandora, it seems to enter a timeless, misty realm where neither the sun, moon or stars are visible. Watches and personal electronics will usually stop working. The only reliable timepiece on the Ferry is the Captain's pocket watch.

Travelers are advised to stay below deck, in their cabin or the passenger lounge. Sometimes people vanish off the deck.  The Ferry's crew refer to these disappearances as the Toll. Some of them whisper about the Monsters in the Mist, but these sailors usually don't last too long on the Ferry.

 What happens when you arrive?

The Ferry will arrive at the docks. There, passengers disembark into the waiting arms of island officials.

You'll be taken to the Customs Office on Peabody Street. There, you will be examined by a doctor from Saint Penitents, and interviewed by the Customs Officer, Mister Barthenel(Who is Very Nice). Your belongings will be searched. Contraband items will be seized.  You may be searched, as well, but this happens Very Rarely.  Any currency you have will be exchanged for the Pandoran rho. (Don't worry, the exchange rate is very fair.)  You'll be issued an identification card with your picture on it. (The picture is usually a Very Good Sketch but sometimes a Very Unflattering Photograph.)  After all of this, you'll sit through a very short film to help familiarize yourself with local etiquette and then you'll be allowed to enter the city.

 The Welcome Wagon

Once you leave the Customs Office, we recommend that you visit the Welcome Wagon. It is just outside the Customs Office.

The Welcome Wagon is a bright pink truck, mounted on cinderblocks, surrounded by wooden troughs full of brightly colored plastic pinwheels. In its previous life, it was an ice cream truck. Now, it is the Welcome Wagon.

The Welcome Wagon is a free resource available to all newcomers to Pandora. It is sponsored by the Knitting Society and the Royal Philanthropic League. It is open from 10:00 AM to 5:00 PM, Monday thru Saturday, and closed Sunday and Ragsday. (Note that the Pandoran week has eight days, the seven days your familiar with and then Ragsday.)

The Welcome Wagon is usually staffed by Mrs. Allwall of the Knitting Society and Mr. Yanel from the Royal Philanthropic League. (Don't stare at Mr. Yanel's glass eye; it's Rude and Very Bad Luck.)

The Welcome Wagon can provide newcomers with all sorts of useful information: a map of the city, subway schedules, information on various neighborhoods, the best place to buy yarn, how much to tip the maître d' at Kvaltjen's to get a Good Table and what to do if you run into a wild grendel in the city. (The last one happens Very, Very Rarely! We promise!)

The Welcome Wagon can also provide resources on where to find a job, where to find somewhere to live and a list of social organizations where you can make new friends and learn interesting new skills such as firewalking or knife-catching.

 Where to Stay?

Honestly, that depends on if you're just visiting or plan on staying.

If you're visiting, we recommend the Santa Clause Hotel, on Bavwen Plaza in Starwell. It's just a short walk from Nightjohn Station, and close to the Carnival District and Old Town, so there's lots of fun and interesting things to do. The prices are very affordable, 9r per night for a single occupancy, 15r per night for a double.

If you fancy something more upscale (and Expensive!), we would recommend the Knizbeth Inn, on Gerr Street, in the Three Princes District. The Knizbeth Inn is close to the Palace, the Garden District and Peverelle. Fine dining and all manner of entertainments are nearby, and the Inn's staff are more than happy to make recommendations. Be warned, though, that rooms at the Knizbeth Inn are a bit pricey. An average room will cost you 40r a night! (But that includes a host of amenities, including Hot & Cold Running Room Servants. Yowza!)

However, if you plan on staying in Pandora, you'll want to find more long-term accommodations that won't empty your pockets.

Many newcomers find their feet at the Bellerephon Apartments in Oceanview. They're very affordable(30r per month), the lease is month-to-month, and they offer a striking view of the ocean. (They're also supposedly Haunted, which would explain the cheap rent and high renter turnover rate.)

House-sharing is common, especially among the Outsider community. You can usually find such accommodations available in Old Town and the University District.

If you're really strapped for cash, (Or just want to save your pennies) there are flophouses in the Wharf District as well as the Seahorse District. Be warned though that flophousers tend to be dirty, dangerous and/or mad.

If you're Really Desperate, you could always sleep rough in the Garden District or take up residence in one of the old, abandoned homes just outside the city.  There are several such houses within walking/bicycling distance of Functionary Station and Raven's End.

If you're Completely Crazy, you can go to Saint Penitents Hospital. They'll give you a nice, warm bed every night, but you have to agree to take part in their Medical Experiments. (So you might not wake up from that nice, warm bed they offered you, or you might wake up with more appendages than when you went to sleep!)

And, if you're Suicidal, you could sleep on the Underground. Be warned though, if the Train Police catch you sleeping rough on the Underground, they'll give you a good kicking(if you're Lucky!) or just throw you to the Gap Monsters.

 How to Get Around?

Many newcomers are surprised at how easy it is to get around Pandora.

The main means of getting around is the Underground. This is the subway system that extends beneath the city. Please note that the Underground is not actually considered part of Pandora, and that it falls under the authority of the King of the Underground. (More about His Subterrestreal Majesty later!)

The trains run all night and all day, all year long, except for the Silent Days in December. Otherwise, the trains are quick, efficient and mostly safe. Infractions of the Underground rules, posted prominently in Stations and on the trains themselves, are dealt with swiftly and violently by the red-coated Train Police. (Trust us. You do NOT want to get caught Breaking the Underground Rules.)

If the Underground seems daunting, there are many surface travel options.

There are City Buses (Antiquated things apparently imported from the automobile graveyards of various third-world nations!) that run most of the week from about 7:00 AM to 10:00 PM.  An in-district round-trip ticket costs 1r. Traveling between districts costs one additional rho. There are no transfers between the Buses and the Underground. The buses run on bio-diesel and smell pleasantly of French fries.

Aside from Military, Police and Rescue Service vehicles, motor vehicles are forbidden within the city. However, there are transport options.

Rickshaws are cheap, costing 1r per person for every mile pulled. Rickshaw wallahs are Very Fit and Very Knowledgeable about the city. (They're also prone to Road Rages that can amass impressive body counts!)

Bicycles and rickshaws are common throughout Pandora, and it isn't odd to spot a palanqueen being carried about some of the richer neighborhoods.

Horses and horse-drawn carriages are allowed in the city, but maintaining a mount is expensive. Stables charge between 5 and 10r per week just for stabling. Feed costs extra.

Traveling by hired carriage is usually more expensive than taking the Bus or the Underground, but it's also more private. Carriage-taxis charge 1r per mile and many are only licensed to operate in one district.  Unlicensed taxis(Commonly known as wild horses) operate illegally across the entire city, but are at risk of being stopped by the blackjacks. The carriage driver and any occupants are likely to get thrown in jail. The horse is likely to be seized by the government and sent to the Farms outside the city or publicly auctioned off to various interested parties. (Which includes some very well known restaurants!)

Travel by foot is probably the most common means of getting around the city. Pandoran neighborhoods are very pedestrian friendly.

Of course, the efficiency of all of these modes of transport are influenced by the season. During the warm months of spring and summer, traveling by foot and rickshaw is no great difficulty. However, in autumn and winter, when the snows fall, travel by anything other than City Bus and Underground can be a bit daunting. After the first snowfall, rickshaws vanish from the city streets and don't appear again until spring.

 What to Eat?

The Pandoran diet is mostly protein, with lots of fats and some random carbohydrates on the side. Fish and mutton are common and pretty cheap. Beef is available, but it's expensive. So is horse. Pork has to be imported and is Very Expensive. Birds, by Pandoran law, can only be eaten by the Royal Family, and they only eat them during special events.

Milk is plentiful, thanks to dairies outside the city. Milk products, such as cheeses and sour cream, can be found in most stores.

Outside of certain legal restrictions, variations on most world cuisines can be found in the city, although with a unique Pandoran twist. For example, you can buy fried potatoes pretty much everywhere, but if you want an American-style hamburger, you'll have to go to one of the more expensive restaurants around town.

The variety of fresh fruit and vegetables available to Pandorans was very limited until the last ten years or so, when a group of enterprising Pandorans constructed large greenhouses around the city. Now Pandorans can enjoy things like strawberries and tomatoes year round. More exotic fruits, like pineapples and mangos, still have to be imported and are Expensive. (At one time, fresh pineapples were given as wedding presents because they were so expensive!)

 Where to Eat?

If you've got the rhos, the best restaurant in Pandora is Kvaltjen's. It's on Sochi Avenue, in Three Princes District.  Seating is by appointment only, and the menu is set, but changes every couple of days. This restaurant is Very Expensive but well worth the price. The food is extraordinary. The service is exemplary. (It's rumored that Kvaltjen's caters private dinners where emissaries from Pandora and the Underground meet to discuss various topics of mutual interest.)

If you want a less expensive and more traditional Pandoran dining experience, we suggest Mama Bonan's in Starwell District. This lively family restaurant offers traditional Pandoran cuisine six days a week. The menu is a la carte, and prices are Very Reasonable. Mama Bonan, the owner and cook, often steps into the dining room to chat with the customers. If she takes a shine to you, she might offer you some of her homemade kamstandeldost, a decadent desert consisting of chocolate, sour cream and fermented berries.

If you would rather have something quick, Pandora has a number of fast-food options.

Kendi's is a popular local chain, well known for its menu of fried fish, fried potatoes and fried cheese. Their mascot is a buxom, blonde cartoon girl with pigtails believed to be based on the founder's first wife. (Who disappeared under Mysterious Circumstances several years ago outside the city. They say she was carried off by wild grendels, but a body was Never recovered.)

L'experience Francaise is another popular local chain. Inspired by the Pandoran affection for all things French (Except mimes! Ugh!), L'experience Francaise offers soups and salads, as well as steak tartare, croque monsier, gratin dauphinois, ratatouille and aligot. Their restaurants are decorated in the red, white and blue colors of the French flag and employees are required to be fluent in French. (No big deal, since most Pandorans are multilingual, but it usually surprises newcomers.)

Nirvana Burger is a chain of vegetarian places that serve veggie burgers, French fries, salads and soups. They're open late and are very popular with the afterhours set.

FishFood is another popular chain, offering walk-through sushi and sake takeout boxes for a very reasonable price. (There's a rumor that Prince Oliver pops into the FishFood in Government Center, incognito, after a particularly grueling day governing the city. But don't tell anyone that we told you this!)

Then there are the usual range of food wagons and food carts offering everything from fried fish sandwiches to boiled mutton and spicy cheese poppers. If you do eat from a food wagon or cart, make sure it's displaying an official sticker from the Ministry of Health. These are usually safe. If they don't have the sticker, it's best to avoid them.

 Where to Shop?

Despite its remoteness, Pandora offers its residents a vigorous retail experience. You can find all of the essentials pretty easily and a surprisingly wide range of luxury goods. (Depending on your idea of luxury!)

Most neighborhoods have a corner grocery offering staple goods such as beer, wine, canned tuna, bar soap and toilet paper.

Pharmacies usually serve multiple neighborhoods and are always associated with a doctor's office, which must be associated with Saint Penitents.  Pandoran pharmacies often produce their own medicines (To Very Strict health standards!), and offer products that are restricted or illegal in other countries. For example, Kerndurg's Coca-Pills are an over-the-counter drug containing cocaine and advertised as a 'tonic for the body, mind and spirit.' A wide range of marijuana-laced products, ranging from stress tinctures to edibles, have been available to the Pandoran public for the last century, and marketed as cures for anxiety, hypertension and insomnia.

Specialty stores can be found throughout the city, operating as independent establishments. Unlike fast food, which has established chains across the city, retail establishments have yet to duplicate this feat.

Most districts have a central shopping street or plaza, akin to an American Main Street or a British High Street.  During the spring and summer, these streets and plazas often host open air markets where locals can by fresh produce, local arts and crafts.

And although retail chains and big box stores haven't sank their claws into Pandora, one outside retail institution did catch on: the shopping mall.

The first shopping center constructed in Pandora was the Shopping Center on Darvi Avenue, in Karcell. It was a huge two-story building, housing seventeen retail establishments, that opened in 1992. The Shopping Center was an enormous success and soon similar centers were being built across the city.  Most would fail and close, but some would thrive.

The biggest and best shopping center in the city is the Krishime Mall in Peverelle. Krishime Mall is a three-story building, housing forty two retail stores. It has a food court on the first floor and a movie theater on the second floor. Popular stores include Breklev's Jewels, Gilshe & Rankar Childrenswear, Yah Books and Cinderella's, a high-end dress shop patronized by Queen Lilah and Princess Yanelle.

The other major shopping center in Pandora is the Government Park Center, just a block away from the Government Park Station. Government Park Center is a one-story structure, housing twenty-one businesses, including a neighborhood market and a pharmacy/doctor's office.  Popular stores in the mall include William Slade, a fashionable menswear store; Sizaku Steps, the most expensive shoe-store in Pandora, and ChadComp, which sells rebuilt computers and electronics.

However, the vast majority of Pandora's retail establishments remain homegrown mom & pop businesses, serving the needs of their neighborhood or a select clientele.

For example, Exile's Market, in Oceanview, focuses on serving the needs and wants of outsiders. Their stock apparently consists of goods imported from off-island. In reality, however, the majority of the goods are from local sources. The owner of Exile's also owns a print shop and he slaps new labels on existing packaging. Everybody knows he does it, but everybody plays along because it's a nice gesture. (And, according to rumors, sometimes he actually does get legitimate outside products that he sells to his customers.)

There is also a Black Market, which sells illegal goods (like frozen chicken nuggets) smuggled through Customs or brought ashore by shady sailors from the Ferry. Occasionally, contraband goods (like Gap Monster teeth) are brought up from the Underground.

The Black Market is well-organized, Very Very Paranoid and Extremely Dangerous. Black marketers disguise themselves with masks and magics, deal only in cash and vanish at the first hint of trouble. Mostly, they meet among the failed neighborhoods north and east of the city, although sometimes transactions are carried out on the busy streets of the Carnival District, the back of a City Bus, or shunned places like Sorrow's Point.

Getting caught buying or selling black market goods is a serious offense and has serious consequences. We highly recommend you don't get involved! (Unless you absolutely HAVE to HAVE the latest version of Grand Theft Auto!)

Another source of goods (Less dangerous than the Black Market?) is the Underground. Underground Markets pop up randomly beneath the city according to an eccentric schedule known only to the King of the Underground and the Market Master. The Underground Market is sometimes allowed to set up in an Underground Station, which attracts all sorts of attention from the Pandoran authorities. However, since the Underground isn't part of Pandora, there isn't really anything the blackjacks and inspectors can do but glower and glare at people. And if they do that too much, the Train Police will tell them to leave.

You can find items in the Underground Market that you can't find elsewhere in Pandora. By mutual agreement, the Underground Market doesn't sell items that Pandora considers contraband. You won't find firearms or frozen chicken breasts for sale, but you can find hallucinogenic mushrooms and bioluminescent fungi, as well as antiques of dubious origin and exotic fruits and vegetables, such as spiked cabbages and abrabananas. You can even find people selling maps to the Long Stair and the Brass Door.  If you do buy anything from the Underground Market, just be warned that doing so might attract unwanted attention from the authorities.