The Diamond

The Diamond is the world. The world is the Diamond.

There is nothing beyond the Diamond.  

Even if someone did manage to climb the walls of the Diamond, they would never come back.

And the walls of the Diamond stretch impossibly high.

The Diamond is divided into three areas: the Outer Ward, the Greensward and the Inner Ward.

The Outer Ward is a vast expanse of metallic gray wasteland where nothing made of flesh and blood can survive for long. Automata and the ghosts of the dead lurk in the Outer Ward.

The Inner Ward lies at the heart of the Diamond, a desert of poisonous yellow crystals where the Sun rises and falls each day.

The Inner Ward is utterly fatal to all creatures who enter it, even briefly. Living creatures die. Automata collapse. Spirits disintigrate.

The Sun does not cross the sky in the Diamond. It rises from the Inner Court, and then descends back into the depths of the earth. 

A day in the Diamond lasts about twelve hours.

When the Sun has disappeared, the stars begin to glow softly above the Diamond.  The Moon emerges from the Eastern Tower and rides her chariot in a circular pattern over the Diamond before returning to the Eastern Tower. 

The Moon is literally a beautiful woman who rides across the sky in a magic chariot pulled by six winged goats. 

A night in the Diamond lasts about twelve hours.

The Greensward lies between the Outer Ward and the Inner Ward and is where the Diamond's populace lives.

The Greensward contains forests and grasslands, hills and lakes, some small mountains and the rusted ruins of colossal ancient war-golems and the bleached bones of ancient giant beasts.

There are only three major population centers in the Greensward: Redfern, Metallica and Cistern.

Wild animals, malevolent spirits and rogue automata are the biggest threats in the Greensward. 

Hunters hunt wild animals.

Exorcists bind malevolent spirits.

Troubleshooters find and fix rogue automata.

People get around mostly on foot, but bicycles and sky-ponies are popular too.

There are vending machines around the Diamond. They sell everything from food and drink to magic potions, cursed items, bones, used elf panties (don't ask!) and odder things.

The vending machines are serviced by the vending gnomes.  No one knows where vending gnomes come from or why they do what they do.

Do not approach the vending gnomes! They bite!

Wild animals you might encounter in the Greensward include:

Chromatic Centipede - a rainbow hued centipede that likes to eat metal and glass; they eventually spin a cocoon around themselves and transform into miasma-moths.

Conversational Cobras - large cobras easily identifiable by their size, their neckwear and their attempt to engage potential victims in polite small-talk. Run if you can. If you can't just talk about boring things in a flat, monotone. It will put them asleep and then you can sneak away.

Firefox - it looks like an average fox but it can burst into flame at a moment's notice.

Lethal Leapers - imagine if a bunny, a vampire bat and a deer got combined and you'll have an idea what a Lethal Leaper looks like. They can jump long distances. They have sharp fangs they use to drain their victim's blood. Their fur is very soft and makes nice gloves, hats, etc.

Miasma Moths - these black and gray moths are surrounded by a noxious smelling cloud that drives predators away; a swarm of miasma moths is known as a stink.

Pink porcupines - a bright pink porcupine; shy and retiring creatures, their coloration is a warning; their quills are coated with a poison lethal to 99.9% of folks. Best avoided.

Purple porcupines - identical to pink porcupines, except for their color; the substance on their quills won't kill you, just make you high as a kite for a few hours. Very popular with some folks.

Sky-Pony - a pony made out of cloud. Their bodies are fluffy and soft and lighter than air. Anything riding them also becomes lighter than air. Some sky-ponies are made from storm-clouds and can shoot lightning out of their mouths. Others are made of rain-clouds and leave everything they touch damp and chilly.

Unicorns - they look like glowing, anorexic horses with a crystal horn growing from their forehead; they aren't beautiful or noble. They're drawn to virgins because they want to kill them. Killing and eating a virgin is the only way a unicorn can reproduce.  Recommend shooting them on site.

Winged Whales - a long, long time ago the Diamond had a sea within its borders; whales lived in this sea. As the seas dried up the whales adapted. They grew smaller and grew wings as well. Nowadays, these winged whales migrate from lake to lake via flying.

Other things you may encounter in the Greensward:

Automata - Spindly limbed robots with glowing eyes and a strong predilection for attacking folks. They're spawned in the Outer Ward and sometimes wander into the Greensward. Avoid if possible. If violent, send for a troubleshooter.

Elves - They are thin and blonde with pointy ears and sharp cheekbones. Attractive if you're into condescension and being belittled because you're not an elf. They're also kind of perverted. Why else do you think they sell their underwear to the vending gnomes and can hang out with unicorns?

Gnomes, Vending - Small. Bearded. Beady eyes. Big mouths with very sharp teeth. They service the vending machines for reasons of their own. Do not approach! They bite! 

Hoppers - Tall, slender, anthropomorphic grasshoppers with impeccable manners, an excellent sense of fashion and a penchant for splendid tea parties. They all sound like upper-crust British aristocrats. Quite pleasant.

Spirits - A catch-all term for the semisolid entities that spontaneous form at random. Their appearance and demeanor can vary wildly. They are natural shapeshifters and some can possess people or things. Very sensitive. Be polite. Speak calmly. If you encounter a malevolent spirit, run away and find the nearest exorcist.

Witches/Wizards - Antisocial weirdos living in the woods. Or on a mountain top. Or a cave. They're basically the same except witches fly on brooms and wizards fly on magic carpets. They both wear pointed hats, tend to be very attractive in their youth and very unattractive in their old age. Short tempered. Some go bad and become villains. Others just turn folks who annoy them into frogs, beasts or talking crockery. Be polite. Be respectful. Better yet, avoid them when possible.

Some celebrities you might meet in the Diamond:

Baron Moonchaser - an ancient gentleman, thin as a rake, older than sin, dressed in rather dated finery. In his youth, he fell in love with the Moon and vowed to have her as his wife. He's been pining for her and chasing after her ever since. He's either madly in love or just mad. Either way, he's richer than anyone else in the Diamond.

Countess Pillowbreast - a grandiose noblewoman famous for having the Softest Bossom in the World. Also, one of the largest. She wears a white powdered whig and elaborate makeup. Think Marie Antoinette but on steroids. Very fashionable. A flirt. A hopeless romantic. 

Hexella, Queen of the Outer Ward - She's not a real queen, of course. Just a feminine automata with delusions of grandeur. Not that she's not dangerous. Hexella can be lethal. But if you approach her as a queen and treat her as one, she might listen to you before trying to kill you. She never leaves the Outer Ward, but moves around within it quite frequently. Finding her is often more difficult than escaping her clutches.

Logos the Wizard - Perhaps the most powerful wizard in the Diamond. He lives in a floating castle that drifts about on the wind. He appears to be young and pretty, with short black hair and a taste for voluminous white robes and curly-toed shoes. Looks can be deceiving.  Logos founded Wizardfest a hundred years ago and hasn't been back since the first one.  Transforms people who irritate him into cute bunny-girls.

The Singing Mountain - a small living mountain in the western Greensward famous for his excellent singing voice. He gives concerts in the late summer/early fall, attended by thousands. In the off-seasons, he generally sleeps. He can be quite cranky if woken and isn't above hurling an avalanche of boulders at anybody who wakes him.

The Cities

Redfern - population 106,710 folks. In the northeast corner of the Greensward. Built over a confluence of three rivers. Named after the family who founded it. They're all dead now. Ruled by Queen Margarite the Forgettable. Major trade hub. 

Metallica - population 41,086 folks. In the southwestern section of the Greensward. Mining capital of the Diamond. All the buildings are coated in metal. Ruled by Big Head Todd who is, literally, a large floating head with laser vision. Famous for its casino, the Motherload.

Cistern - population 292,110 folks. Located in the southeastern part of the Greensward. The city is built on the shores of Lake Cistern, and is a major vacation center. Ruled by an elected President-for-Life. The current President is Esmereldine Grace, a Witch who has passed the running of the city to her secretary, Luda Lukeworm. Famous for its annual winged whale migration.

Celebrations

The Chromatic Crush.

This event is held at the beginning of spring in Metallica when chromatic centipedes emerge from their eggs and begin a frenzied feeding on anything made of metal or glass. As you can imagine, in a city where most buildings are covered in metal, this is cause for some alarm. So, Metallica organizes the Chromatic Crush, an annual event where participants put on thick-soled wooden shoes and stomp on the encroaching centipedes before they can reach the city. It is exhausting, but fun, and by the end of the first day all the participants are covered in chromatic goo. 

Songapalooza!

Held in late summer/early autumn. This is the big outdoor concert put on by the Singing Mountain. Thousands of people gather at the foot of the mountain every year. It's not just a concert, it's a three-day party in the wilderness where people can let their hair down and forget all of their worries.

Wingfest.

Held once a year when the winged whales return to Lake Cistern to overwinter. The event attracts thousands of people. Most come to watch the winged whales. Some come to hunt them before they can reach Lake Cistern. There's a loophole in Cistern's city laws that says winged whales can't be hunted in the lake. If they're out of the lake, though, they're fair game.

Whale-hunters and whale-enthusiasts clash in the streets of Cistern during the migration, with the enthusiasts bashing the hunters, as the hunters try to bag the winged whales. It's two weeks of bloody fun for the whole family!  And Cistern makes a pretty penny arresting people for all sorts of offenses ranging from causing a public disturbance to assault to violating noise ordinances. This is the main reason the loophole hasn't been closed.

Wizardfest

This annual gathering of wizards and witches was started a century ago by Logos the Wizard. It's held each year on Highsunday, when the sun reaches its greatest height before returning to the Inner Ward. The location of Wizardfest changes every year, usually to someplace it would be awkward or inconvenient for a non-wizard/witch to get to. It's an exclusive event, restricted only to wizards/witches and their plus ones.  Gatecrashers tend to get transformed into unpleasant things and then forgotten. Wizardfest is a time for witches and wizards to come together and show off their talents. The highlight of the event is the Spelling Bee, where contestants showcase new spells they've come up with.  Spells can range from the practical (turning milk into yogurt) to the amusing (giving someone a talking hemorrhoid) to the destructive (a spell that melts the flesh off your enemy's bones). It's not for the faint of heart, but the afterparties are the stuff of legends.

Hunters, Exorcists and Troubleshooters! Oh My!

Hunters deal mostly with flesh and blood threats: wild animals, wanted criminals, runaway brides. They're usually strong, fast and tough with good survival instincts. Some of them look like walking arsenals, laden with every possible weapon they could carry, while others confront their prey with nothing but a grin and pointy stick. 

Exorcists deal with angry and/or dangerous spirits. They usually have some kind of spiritual or religious background, but they may not be exactly devout. Exorcist styles can vary wildly. Some might try to peacefully mediate a dispute with an angry spirit, while others go straight to obliterating it. Most will try the first, then bind the spirit to an object before resorting to the second. Binding a spirit to a physical object ties their existence to that object. If the object is destroyed the spirit will be destroyed too. That's why exorcists tend to carry glass eggs around with them.

Troubleshooters deal with mechanical problems, whether it’s a bunged up drain or a homicidal automata trying to cut off your head. They're usually smart and most are tougher than they look. If they can't build a solution to a problem, they'll tear the problem apart whether it’s a homicidal automata or a bunged up drain. Solutions that work for one, usually work for the other.

Groups You Might Want to Join, Avoid or Destroy

The Society of Royal Enthusiasts.

Based in Redfern, the Society of Royal Enthusiasts, or SORE, is a fan club for royalty. Since, at the moment, the only royals in the Diamond are Queen Margarite the Forgettable and Hexella, Queen of the Outer Ward, their topics of discussion are somewhat limited.  Nevertheless, the group perseveres, meeting once a month to drink tea, eat cake and share fanfiction of questionable taste.  Occasionally, they'll organize charitable events like cake sales, balls and jumble sales to raise money for royally endorsed charities.  What no one in SORE suspects is that Queen Margarite has attended several meetings, incognito, but she always leaves before the discussion turns to fanfiction.  

The Anti-wizard Association for the Advancement of Witches

Known more commonly as AAAW, this group has one goal: to smash to smithereens the idea that wizards are somehow better, or more powerful, than witches! To accomplish this, the members of AAAW gather in secret, pooling their magical resources and powers in pursuit of one big spell that will show everyone that witches are just as good as wizards! Of course, there have been missteps along the way. Forests turned to glass. Rivers into flames. Irritatingly adorable orphans transformed into gingerbread cookies. Small prices to pay for the elevation of witches! Or, at least, that's what AAAW's members think. The rest of the world thinks they're a bunch of lunatics, but no one who doesn't want to get turned into an iguana dares say anything. Wizards just sort of sit back and watch, waiting for the group to literally implode. Calmer witches just shake their head and go back to working on a spell that can turn gingerbread men back into flesh-and-blood children.

HETA

Hunters, Exorcists & Troubleshooters Anonymous is a support group for members of the aforementioned professions whose jobs have basically taken over their lives. Failed marriages, resentful children, busted friendships. These are the emotional costs that many hunters, exorcists and troubleshooters have paid to further their careers. And most of them are perfectly fine with that. After all, what else could compare to the thrill of boring a conversational cobra to death? Or binding a furious spirit to a glass egg and then crushing it? Or climbing inside a giant, rampaging automta and tearing it apart from the inside?  How in the world is an anniversary dinner or a child's music recital or a weekly bar-crawl with friends supposed to compare to that? HETA is there to reassure its members that, well, they just can't compare. Because nothing is better than doing your job and it's perfectly okay for you to be fine with that. Honest. If your friends and family can't deal with your prioritizing your work-life over your personal life? Well, screw 'em! Because HETA will be there for you. Always.