Wednesday, June 6, 2012

A Review of Snow White & The Huntsman

Gentle readers, this afternoon I went and saw Snow White & The Huntsman, starring Kristen Stewart, Chris Hemsworth and Charlize Theron.
This movie has had a lot of good word of mouth reviews, and I was curious to see what it would be like. So, off I went to the theater.
The first thing to strike me about this movie had nothing to do with the actual film. Rather, it was the audience.  I have hardly seen such a diverse crowd attending a genre film.  There were senior citizens, teenagers, men, women, and children.  Shamelessly eavesdropping on the conversations around me, most were there because, like me, they had heard good reviews of the movie.
Sadly, I don't think the film deserves such glowing accolades.
Part of the problem with the movie is that the story is already so well known.  We all know how the film will end, even before we go into it.  The only thing that could shock us would be the path the writers took to get from A to Zed.  Sadly, instead of offering us something new and different, they stick to the tried and true. Sure, they give us a glimpse into the Evil Queen's motivations, and there's some nice CGI work with fairies, but otherwise? Dull. Boring. Predictable.
The performances are, likewise, nothing to write home about. 
Charlize Theron's Wicked Queen is dull. There is no genuine sense of menace from her, at all. Theron strides around a cold stone room, exuding all the life and vitality of a marionette.
Kristen Stewart's Snow White is even worse.  During the entire film, she delivers a one-note performance, that of a saintly princess who is about as interesting as a bowl of plain grits. She's pretty enough for the role, but there's nothing in the character to inspire men to fight for her.
Of all the cast, Chris Hemsworth's Huntsman is the only one given any opportunity to develop. That development, alas, is formulaic. 
The less said about the dwarves, the better.
Overall, Snow White & The Huntsman left me feeling bored and disappointed. The story is entirely predictable and the characters remain two-dimensional.
On a scale of one to ten, I would give Snow White & The Huntsman a three.  Save your money and wait for it to come out on Pay-Per-View or DVD.

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