Tuesday, July 8, 2014


Today, gentle readers, I am off to the dentist.
This afternoon, I get to sit in a chair, feet probably dangling over the end, while an older man in a mask and rubber gloves mucks about in my mouth.
I've never been particularly bothered about going to the dentist.  My teeth were never in good shape, so when I made the decision a while back to have 'em all taken out and replaced with dentures, it was not a big deal.  The dentist I went to at the time, however, seemed to think it was.  I think he may have taken it as a personal slight that I wasn't willing to endure years of pain just to keep my natural teeth a little longer.
Still, he did a bang up job on the removal.
I had all my teeth taken out in a single day.  I woke up that morning, before dawn, and popped a Valium. Then I caught a cab to the dentist's office where I filled out some paperwork, sat in the chair, and drifted off to sleep as the dentist was injecting my mouth with Novacaine.
I woke up a few hours later as he was filing down some of the bone beneath my gums where he'd had to remove wisdom teeth.  After that, he packed my mouth full of cotton, called me a cab and sent me home.
I walked around for two weeks with no teeth.  The dentist told me I would probably lose some weight during the time.  Actually, I put on five pounds.  He didn't seem to realize that ice cream and refried beans are both soft foods.  So, for that matter, is corned beef hash.
I don't miss my real teeth. Not even now, when I have to go to the dentist to get my denture repaired. It's an inconvenience, but that's about it. 
Actually, my life has pretty much improved since that day.  My health improved and, for the first time in my life, I had a nice smile.
There were oddities. I had to learn how to kiss all over again. 
And some minor inconveniences.  No chewing gum or taffy for me.
Weirdly, my toothless state has also given me a really funny story to tell involving a sneeze, loose teeth and a clerk at the post office.
Also, I can do things with my tongue now that I couldn't before.
So, overall, what most people would consider a bad event, to them, is just something interesting to me.
I suppose, like everything else in life, it's all about perspective.

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