Monday, August 29, 2016

Sharklings

The halfling burglar, Oli Snigg, crept along the slick corridors of the Undercity of Chaubed.  He’d purchased a darkvision spell from a wizard and was grateful that he had done so.  So far, Oli had managed to avoid other thieves and adventurers. The few traps he had encountered were old and easily avoided or sprung.  
Oli was just thinking that this job was a little too easy when he spotted the sharklings. They rounded the corner ahead of him, a pack of six monstrosities with dull gray skin and shark-like heads.  The minute they appeared, Oli reached for his daggers and began to slowly back away.
The sharklings all swung their heads toward the halfling.  Their wide, toothy smiles seemed to stretch into infinity.
Then they came at him.

Sharklings are monstrosities created ages ago by a wizard named Loirath the Cruel. He liked to crossbreed different life-forms, using magic to create hybrids.  Sharklings were one of his more successful experiments.  He used them to protect access to his sanctum, allowing them to eat anyone who trespassed.  Ironically, Loirath was fed to his own creation during the Wizardic Pogrom of 1746.
A sharkling has the body of a humanoid and a head resembling a shark’s.  Their skin is a uniform gray and has a rough, grainy texture to it.  Although they have eyes, they have poor physical sight, and rely on their blindsight and a keen sense of smell to navigate their homes and hunt for prey. Their fingers and toes are webbed and they possess gills that allow them to breathe water or air.
Sharklings live in small packs of six to eight. These packs generally consist of one or two females and several males.  Their culture is primitive and violent. Sharklings are hunters who will attack anything their size or smaller.  They will attack the members of other sharkling packs as well as any stray adventurers.  They seldom use weapons, preferring to rely on their bite attacks.
Sharklings are born from eggs. Every year sharkling females lay egg deposits that the males compete to fertilize.  Female sharklings nurse their offspring for a few months, then they are raised communally.  If times are hard, young sharklings are often devoured by their pack.
Sharklings are found almost exclusively in dungeons. They thrive in artificial aquatic environments, but fail to do so in similar, natural environments.  Sharklings encountered in the wild are killed without hesitation.
Goblins hate sharklings and will often go to great lengths to exterminate them.

SHARKLINGS
Medium Monstrosity, Neutral Evil

Attributes
STR 11 DEX 13 (+1) CON 11
INT 05 (-3) WIS 09 (-1) CHA 06 (-2)
AC 11 (Natural Armor)
HP 12

Traits
Speed: 30 feet
Skills: Stealth +3
Senses: Blindsight 30 ft., Passive Perception 09
Languages: Sharkling
Amphibious. Sharklings can breath water or air.
Keen Nose. Sharklings have advantage on all Smell (Wisdom) checks.
Pack tactics. Sharklings have advantage on attack rolls against a creature if at least one of the sharkling’s allies is within 5 feet of the creature and the ally isn’t incapacitated.

Actions
Bite. Melee Weapon attack: +4 to hit, reach 5 ft., one target. On a hit, deals 1d8 piercing damage.

Tuesday, August 23, 2016

The Backstagers: A Review


Hello, gentle readers!
So, it's been about a week since the first issue of The Backstagers came out and I'm still not sure whether or not I actually like this book.
Written by James Tynion and Rian Sygh, the book focuses on the adventures and antics of the Backstagers: Jory, Hunter, Sasha, Aziz and Becket.  They're students at an all-boys school called St. Genesius where they work backstage in the Drama Club.  However, this isn't your ordinary backstage job where you build props, manage the lights, etc.  No, this Backstage is akin to Wonderland or Narnia or an Escher painting.  It's full of magic and strangeness that only the Backstagers know about.
In this first issue, Jory is a new student at St. Genesius, looking for a place to belong. He gives the Drama Club a shot, but winds up getting sent backstage where he falls into one of the Backstagers' adventures.  Hijinx ensue and he abandons the stage for the backstage.
The Backstagers is an all-ages book with a definite queer slant.  The first issue doesn't just hit the ground running, it smashes into it and races along it, scattering sparks and debris in its path. That, I think, is part of my problem with the book; in this first issue, things just happen too fast. The characters are painted with broad, colorful strokes.  They rush from one scene to another. As readers, we're not given a chance to process what's happening.
This could be deliberate. Tynion could be attempting to mirror Jory's experience as he is dropped into this incredible world.  If so, if it was meant to draw us in and make us feel like a part of the action, it didn't really work for me.  The pacing on the story just felt rushed and fragmented.
As for the art? I LOVE the cover by Veronica Fish. That is a beautiful piece of work.
But the internal art? Eh. Not so much. I mean, it's okay, but it's just not my cup of tea.  It's a little too cartoonish for my liking.  However, I do like the character designs, especially Becket and Sasha. To me, those two really pop.
Overall, I really want to like this book. I really want to say that it's a great read and a good beginning to this miniseries.
I really want to do it.
But I can't.
This first issue just left me feeling kind of 'Meh.'  It's not good, it's not bad, it's just 'meh.'
On a scale of one to five, I have to give The Backstagers a two.
Since this is only an 8-issue miniseries, I'll probably give the next couple of issues a try.  It's not that bad.  But if I'm not suitably impressed, or amused, by the end of the third issue, I probably won't buy the rest.

Paladins of Dust

Chelic saw the man the moment he stepped into the ruined temple.  The fellow was youngish. His reddish-brown hair was curly and his skin was flawless.  He wore rimless spectacles and a suit of gray scale armor.  A shortsword lay across his lap and the fellow was reading a small, green book. 
Chelic cleared his throat.  The armored man looked up from his book and smiled.
“Hello again, Chelic.”
The elf frowned. “I’m sorry. Have we met?”
“Not that you’d remember.  Come to have another go at stealing the bones of General Oramyr?”
Chelic’s frown deepened.  “What are you talking about? This is the first time I’ve been here.”
“No,” said the young man.  He put down his book and stood.  He was short for a knight. As he drew his sword and approached, he added, “You’ve said that the other times we’ve fought as well.”
“You’re quite mad, aren’t you?” remarked Chelic, drawing his own blade.
The young man simple smiled and waited as if he had all the time in the world.

Paladins of Dust serve Naroth, the God of History and Memory.  They are usually charged with protecting places of historic importance: the site of a crucial battle, the tomb of a great king, the ruins of a fallen city.  Sometimes they are dispatched to secure artefacts of historical significance, transporting them to the Narothic Archives beneath the Range of Faces.
Paladins of Dust seldom come from a martial background. More often they emerge from the ranks of academics and scholars, people with a deep love and appreciation for history.  They do not rely on Charisma, as other paladin types do, but on Wisdom.
Adventurers hate encountering Paladins of Dust. How do you defeat someone who you’ve probably fought before, but you don’t remember?  As if that wasn’t bad enough, a Paladin of Dust’s attacks actually cause their enemies to age. Even if they don’t reset the clock, even if an adventurer manages to best a Paladin of Dust, he’ll probably be years older by the time he gets away.  It’s really not worth the trouble and most adventurers will simply walk away from a fight with a Paladin of Dust, assuming they’ve already lost it in some other timeline.

Hit Points
Hit Dice: 1d10 per level
Hit Points at 1st Level: 10 + Con Modifier
Hit Points at Higher Levels: 1d10 (or 6) + your Con Modifier per level after 1st.

Proficiencies
Armor: All armor and shields
Weapons: Simple and martial weapons
Tools: None
Saving Throws: Wisdom, Constitution
Skills: Choose two from Athletics, Insight, Intimidation, Medicine, Persuasion and Religion.

Historical Expertise
At 1st level, Paladins of Dust gain proficiency in History.  Their proficiency bonus for all Intelligence (History) checks is double.

Sense of Time
Also, at 1st level, Paladins of Dust develop a perfect sense of time. They always know the exact date and time.

Fighting Style
Starting at 2nd level, Paladins of Dust chooses a fighting style as a specialty. You cannot take a Fighting Style more than once, even if you later get to choose again.

Defense - While you are wearing armor, you gain a +1 bonus to AC.

Dueling - When you are wielding a melee weapon in one hand and no other weapons, you gain a +2 bonus to damage rolls with that weapon.

Great Weapon Fighting - When you roll a 1 or a 2 on a damage die for an attack you make with a melee weapon that you are wielding with two hands, you can reroll the die and must use the new roll, even if the new roll is a 1 or a 2. The weapon must have the two-handed or versatile property for you to gain this benefit.

Protection - When a creature you can see attacks a target other than you that is within 5 feet of you, you can use your reaction to impose disadvantage on the attack roll.  You must be wielding a shield.

Temporal Smite
At 2nd level, when you hit a creature with a melee weapon attack, you deal additional damage. Add a 1d8 to the weapon’s normal damage. This damage counts as magical and manifests itself as time passing for the subject of the attack.  Your enemy ages years for every blow you land. Staring at 9th level, you add 2d8 to the weapon’s normal damage.
You can use this feature a number of times equal to your Wisdom modifier (minimum of once). When you have expended all these uses, you cannot regain this feature until you finish a short or long rest.

Divine Vitality
By 3rd level, the divine power flowing through you makes you immune to the effects of aging and you cannot be aged magically.  You can still die of old age, however.

Ability Score Improvement
When you reach the 4th level, and again at 8th, 12th, 16th and 19th level, you can choose to increase one ability score by 2, or to increase two ability scores by 1.  As usual, you cannot increase an ability score above 20 using this feature.

Extra Attack
At 5th level, you can attack twice, instead of once, whenever you take the Attack action on your turn. At 17th level, you can attack three times.

Eye of Experience
Starting at 6th level, using your wisdom and experience, you can study another creature outside combat and deduce certain information about its capabilities. The DM can tell you one of the following: the creature’s Strength, Dexterity or Constitution score; its Armor Class or its class levels (if any).

The Grace of Naroth
Beginning at 7th level, you cannot be charmed while you are awake.

Shield of Ages
When you reach 10th level, you become resistant to damage from spells.

Rewriting History
At 11th level, you can use a bonus action to reroll the die for an ability check or saving throw. You must use the new roll.  After you have used this feature, you cannot use it again until you have completed a long rest.

Living History
At 13th level, outside of combat, you can project your consciousness into the past a number of hours equal to your Paladin of Dust level.  You cannot be perceived in the past, you cannot change anything that has happened, and your psychic self cannot be damaged.  You cannot leave the area you currently occupy.
You can use this feat a number of times equal to your Wisdom modifier (minimum of once). After expending all uses, you do not regain it until you finish a long rest.

Hands of Time
Beginning at 14th level, you can use your action to end one spell on yourself or one willing creature that you touch.
You can use this feature a number of times equal to your Wisdom modifier (minimum of once). You regain expended uses when you finish a long rest.

Healing Time
Starting at 15th level, you can use an action to restore hit points equal to your paladin of dust level. After using this feature, you must complete a long rest before you can use it again.

Time Out
At 18th level, you can use an action to stop the flow of time for everyone but yourself.  No time passes for other creatures while you take 1d4 + 1 turns in a row, during which you can use actions and move as normal.
The effect ends if one of the actions you use during this period affects a creature other than you or an object being worn or carried by someone other than you.  In addition, the effect ends if you move more than 1000 feet from the location you cast it.
After using this feature, you must complete a long rest before you can use it again.

History’s Champion
Your devotion to your deity has been rewarded.  Not only do you stop aging, but you gain the power to reduce your enemies to dust.  You choose a target within 60 feet of you that you can see. Your target must make a Dexterity saving throw (DC is your Paladin of Dust level + your proficiency bonus).  If they fail the save your target is reduced to dust and cannot be resurrected.

Monday, August 22, 2016

Slimegirls for the win!

Last night, at my RPG, a fellow player said something about slimegirls and it inspired this. Thanks, Jason! ^_^

SLIMEGIRLS

Slimegirls were created by a wizard called El Basticho over a hundred years ago, in his stronghold, the Tower of Fallen Graces.  No one is quite certain why El Basticho created the slimegirls, but they have outlived their creator and thrived, spreading all across Bezoar.

Slimegirls resemble attractive humanoid females composed of translucent or semitranslucent slime. Hair and skin color is identical and can range from pale gray to jet black and a whole spectrum of colors in between.  All slimegirls have gray-white eyes.

Although they resemble humanoid females, slimegirls are actually asexual and reproduce via cellular mitosis.  (Irregardless of this, they are all referred to using female pronouns.) Slimegirl reproduction occurs spontaneously once every six to nine months. During this process the slimegirl’s body becomes extremely gelatinous and she splits into two smaller, initially identical, beings.  Over time though physiological differentiation will occur in the offspring due to diet, environment and personal choice.

Slimegirls usually live in small groups, and seem to prefer warm and wet environments. They can eat almost any organic material with no ill effects, but dislike salt. They are not particularly intelligent and are difficult to harm.  To date, no known slimegirl has died from old age.

The slime they produce is both a defensive trait and a biological waste product. Research has revealed that this slime, when properly prepared, can accelerate healing in most humanoids. It has also been reported to possess certain aphrodisiacal qualities.

Slimegirl culture is genial. They don’t usually wear clothes but like jewelry. Their communities are gerontocracies where the eldest generation is in charge.  Although they enjoy meeting new people they are just as happy keeping to themselves.  They all venerate El Basticho, whom they consider their god, and most make a pilgrimage, at least once in their life, to the Tower of Fallen Graces.

Slimegirl adventurers are rare and most don't last long.  Their vulnerability to fire is too well known and too easily exploited.  That said, slimegirls adventuring underwater can be quite successful.

Most slimegirls, however, who leave their communities, referred to as pools, usually wind up working in the entertainment industry.  Slimegirl wrestling is totally a thing and very popular as both a participatory and spectator sport.

Slimegirls have the following common traits.

Ability Scores. Intelligence is -4 and Constitution is +3.

Age. Slimegirls are self-aware moments after fissioning from their parent. They are considered adults within three days.  They do not suffer any penalties from the passing of time.

Alignment. Most Slimegirls are of good or neutral alignments.

Size.  Slimegirls are roughly the same size as young human women. They are considered Medium.

Speed. Because of their gelatinous physiology, slimegirls are a little slower than most medium-sized humanoids. They have a base walking speed of 25 feet, and leave a trail of slick slime behind them wherever they go.

Amphibious. Slimegirls can breath air and water.

Tremorsense. Slimegirls are very sensitive to vibrations. They can detect and pinpoint the origin of vibrations within 30 feet of themselves, provided that they and the source of the vibrations are in contact with the same ground or substance.

Damage Resistance. Slimegirls are tougher than they look. They have a natural resistance to bludgeoning, piercing and slashing damage and are immune to acid damage.

Flammable. Unfortunately, the slime that a slimegirl excretes is highly flammable. If touched by fire, they burst into flame and instantly die. No saving rolls. No death-saves. They just die.

Slippery. Because of their slick nature, all attempts to grapple a slimegirl are at disadvantage. If a slimegirl is successfully grappled, she has advantage on her attempt to escape the grapple.

Languages. Slimegirls speak Slimetongue, a breathy language of their own, and Common.

Saturday, August 20, 2016

Drunken Magi

Kaj Slein sat on the steps of the blackened manse, watching as Orda spoke with their contact. The man had brought a fair amount of muscle with him, more than was really called for and his reputation was unsavory.  Kaj eyed the man. He was fat and red-cheeked, mounted on a steel horse.  As Kaj watched, the contact produced a wineskin and squeezed a jet of blood-red liquid into his mouth.  His grin, already somewhat off-putting, became diabolical.  Arcane lights flashed in his eyes.
All the hairs on Kaj’s back stood on end.  He leaped to his feet, too late. With a gesture, the drunken mage sent a wave of fire sweeping over Orda’s form.  
With Orda down, Kaj chose the better part of valor. Turning, he grabbed the loot, and ran like hell.

Drunken magi are hard to spot.  Is that rat-faced beggar, hugging a wine-skin to his bony chest in the alleys of Katabis, a drunken mage? What about that tall, lovely elf lady savoring a glass of golden moonwine?  Or those young men, laughing and slapping each other on the back as they weave genially down the alley?  It’s hard to say.
Like witches, drunken magi are everywhere. Unlike witches, they’re a lot harder to spot. Most drunken magi avoid attention. People don’t like them.  Sorcerers are bad enough, but there are schools and guilds and things to train them.  All a drunken mage needs is a tankard of beer and he’s shooting fireballs out of his ass and thinking its great fun.  At least until they sober up and realize they’ve burned down half the village.
A lot of drunken magi choose not to use their powers. They live as teetotalers, avoiding all manner of drink.  Some call for a prohibition on alcohol in general. Some are used as examples of the evils demon-rum can produce.
Then there are the drunken magi who like using their powers. They like having a sip of wine, letting their hair down and casting magic missile.  A lot of these people know that the name, drunken mage, is a misnomer. You don’t actually have to get drunk to use your powers, it’s just a lot of drunken magi are also alcoholics. The gods like their little jokes, even if no one else thinks they’re funny.

Hit Points
Hit Dice: d6
Hit Point at 1st Level: 6 + Con modifier
Hit Points at Higher Levels: 1d6 (or 4) + your Con modifier per drunken magi level after 1st.

Proficiencies
Armor: None
Weapons: Club, Mace, Quarterstaff
Tools: Brewer’s tools
Saving Throws: Charisma, Constitution
Skills: Choose two from Arcana, Deception, Insight, Intimidation, Persuasion and Religion

Drunken Spellcasting
Like traditional sorcerers, you have magic inside you.  However, the magic within you needs a little lubrication to emerge. In short order, you have to drink something alcoholic to access the magic.  You don’t need an arcane focus or traditional spell components, all you need is a bottle of wine, a cask of ale or some jagerbombs. You are a drunken magi.
As a drunken magi, spellcasting doesn’t work for you like it does for most other spellcasters. You can’t cast cantrips or perform rituals.  At 1st level, you can cast any 1st level Sorcerer spell a number of times equal to your charisma modifier. When you have exhausted this number, you can continue to cast spells but at a penalty. For each of these bootleg spells you cast, you lose one HP per spell level.  A 1st level spell will cost you 1 HP, a 2nd level spell will cost you 2 HP, etc.
As you progress, you gain access to addition spell levels at higher drunken magi levels. You gain access to second level sorcerer spells at 5th level, third level spells at 10th level, fourth level spells at 15th level and fifth level spells at 20th level.
You don’t regain ordinary spellcasting until you finish a long rest.

Ordinary Spellcasting Ability
Charisma is your spellcasting ability for your spells. You use your Charisma whenever a spell refers to your spellcasting ability.  In addition, you use your charisma modifier when setting the saving throw DC for an ordinary sorcerer spell you cast and when making an attack roll with one.

Ordinary Spell save DC = 8 + your proficiency bonus + your Charisma modifier.
Ordinary Spell attack modifier = your proficiency bonus + your Charisma modifier.

Bootleg Spellcasting Ability
Until you finish a long rest and regain your ordinary spellcasting ability, you can cast bootleg spells.  Charisma is also your spellcasting ability for these bootleg spells.  However, you do not get to add your proficiency bonus to bootleg spells save DC and you get no attack modifier.

Bootleg Spell save DC = 8 + Charisma modifier
Bootleg Spell attack modifier = Zero

Lucky Drunk
Starting at 2nd level, you have advantage on saving throws against being charmed.

Ability Score Improvement
At 4th level, and again at 8th, 12th, 16th and 19th level, you can increase one ability score by 2, or two ability scores of your choice by 1.  As usual, you cannot raise an ability score above twenty using this feature.

Tough Drunk
When you reach 6th level, you can attempt to regain all expended hit points.  Roll a d20; if the result is 15 or higher you regain all lost hit points.  After you use this feature, you cannot use it again until you finish a long rest.

Double Vision
Starting at 9th level, you can see the true form of any shapechanger or creature concealed by illusion or transmutation magic while the creature is within 30 feet of you and within your line of sight.  You must be drinking to gain this benefit.

Bar Fly
At 13th level, on your turn, you can use a bonus action to fly 30 feet without provoking attacks of opportunity. You must be drinking to gain this benefit.

Hair of the Dog
When you reach 18th level, if you take direct damage from a spell, you regain HP equal to half the damage dealt.  You must be drinking to gain this benefit.

Drunken Spellcasting Master
You have reached the pinnacle of drunk magery; you can now cast 5th level sorcerer spells.

Friday, August 19, 2016

Speed Fighter

The computers were down at my day job all day so I spent the time coming up with a fighter class that’s built around speed. I don't know how well this would play, but I think the ability to deal multiple damage and cover a lot of ground could be pretty cool.

SPEED FIGHTERS

Hit Points
Hit Dice: d10
Hit Points at 1st Level: 10 + Con modifier
Hit Points at Higher Levels: 1d10 (or 6) + Con modifier per level

Proficiencies
Armor: Light
Weapons: Unarmed strikes, All Light and Finesse Melee weapons.
Tools: None
Saves: Dexterity, Constitution
Skills: Choose two from Acrobatics, Athletics, Insight, Intimidation and Survival.

Dash
At 1st level, you can use the Dash action as a bonus action.

Extra Attack
Also at 1st level, you get two attacks on your turn.  This number increases to three attacks per turn at 10th level and three attacks per turn at 17th level.

Extra Movement
Starting at 2nd level, your increased speed lets you cover more ground that normal. You gain an additional 10 feet to your normal movement, as long as you aren’t wearing medium or heavy armor.

Ability Score Improvement
At 4th level, and again at 8th, 12th, 16th and 19th level, you can increase one ability score by 2, or two ability scores of your choice by 1.  As normal, you cannot increase an ability score above 20 using this feature.

Second Wind
Beginning at 5th level, you can use a bonus action to regain hit points equal to 1d10 + your speed fighter level.  Once you use this feature you cannot use it again until you complete a short or long rest.

Uncanny Dodge
Starting at 6th level, when an attacker that you can see hits you with an attack, you can use a reaction to halve the attack’s damage against you.

Evasion
At 9th level, you can dodge certain area effects.  When you are subjected to an effect that allows you to make a Dexterity saving throw to take only half damage, you take no damage if you succeed on the saving throw and only half damage if you fail.

Improved Movement
When you reach 13th level, when you move, you can run along vertical surfaces and across liquids without falling.

Missile Snatching
Starting at 14th level, when you are hit by a ranged weapon attack, you can use a reaction to catch the missile.  When you do so, the damage you take is reduced by 1d10 + your Dexterity modifier + your speed fighter level.
If the damage is reduced to zero, as part of that same reaction, you can make a ranged attack with the missile you just caught.  You make the attack with proficiency, regardless of your weapon proficiencies.

Quick Recovery
At 20th level, you regain full hit points after you finish a short rest.

Thursday, August 18, 2016

Remembrancers

The doors of the Remembrancer Guidehall opened with a crash.  With a start, Master Sideon looked up from the volume of Naffish lore he had been studying.  He peered at the disheveled figure that limped through the doors.  It was only when the figure was closer that Sideon realized it was a woman.  Not just any woman, either, but Mistress Iffite.  She looked as if she had been pulled, backwards, through a thorn hedge and then rolled around in a pig’s wallow.
Mistress Iffite marched up to the desk and threw a heavy tome onto it. The book struck the table with a fragrant squelch.
“There!” snarled Mistress Iffite. “The Book of Vile Dankness! Fresh from the Cellars of Tenmok!  Just where I said it would be!”
The master poked delicately at the tome. It was wrapped in oilskin, leaking something horrible and producing a cloud of stink that was somehow even worse.
“I see,” said Master Sideon. “Well. Congratulations, Mistress Iffite. I should have never doubted you.”
He never even saw the punch she threw that laid him out on the cold stone floor.
“No,” she growled. “You bloody well shouldn’t!”

Remembrancers are an unusual lot. They are not fighters, by any means, but often employ such people to assist them in their work.  Remembrancers remember. They remember everything they’ve seen in the recent past and, over time, can read the memories of objects and even access their own genetic memories.
Although some are born into their order, most remembrancers are actively recruited by scouts. They look for children with unusual memories and linguistic abilities. Such children are usually bought from their parents and taken to a Guidehall, where they are tested and observed. Those who lack the potential to become remembrancers are usually kept around as servants.   After all someone’s got to make the beds and dust the shelves.
However, those children who do have the potential undergo rigorous mental training. Many don’t make it, burning out and either consigned to asylums or living on the streets as hollow-eyed vagrants with a deep-seated terror and/or hatred of books.
Those who do make it through the training, go on to become human libraries. Their heads are stuffed full of all sorts of useful information. Information that some people are willing to pay lots and lots of money to access.
Remembrancers advise kings and captains of industry. They tutor the children of the uber-rich. They hire adventurers to break into dangerous places and bring them interesting books and scrolls. Some go with the adventurers and develop a disturbing taste for fresh air, exercise and shooting people with light crossbows.
Most stay home, content to sit by a nice fire with a cup of tea (or bottle of wine), reading and memorizing the sundry and amorous exploits of Culn the Despoiler.
Remembrancers are usually pale and sickly looking because they spend all their time indoors. They never forget a slight, a good deed done them, or who owes them money.  Some of them are barking mad. Generally, they prefer sherbert to ice cream.

Class Features
As a remembrancer you gain the following class features.

Hit Points:
Hit Dice: d6
Hit Points at 1st Level: 6 + Con Modifer
Hit Points at Higher Levels: 1d6 (or 4) + Con Modifier per level.

Proficiencies:
Armor: Light
Weapons: Daggers, Hand crossbows, Scimitars, Shortswords, Sickles
Tools: None
Saves: Intelligence, Wisdom
Skills: Choose two from Arcana, History, Insight, Investigation, Perception.


Cunning Linguist 
At 1st level, you learn two additional languages of your choice.

Keen Memory
You can accurately recall everything that you have seen or heard within the past month.

Warded 
At 2nd level, you can cast the blade ward cantrip.

Expertise 
When you reach 3rd level, and again at 10th level, thanks to a combination of your memory and training, your proficiency with certain skills is increased.  Choose two of your skill proficiencies. Your proficiency bonus is doubled for any ability check you make that uses either of the chosen proficiencies.

Ability Score Improvement
When you reach 4th level, and again at 8th, 12th, 16th and 19th level, you can increase one ability score of your choice by 2, or two ability scores of your choice by 1.  As usual, you cannot increase an ability score above 20 using this feature.

Expanded Proficiencies
Starting at 5th level, and again at 15th level, you gain proficiency with a tool set of your choice.

Arcane Linguist
At 6th level, you gain the ability to cast the comprehend language spell. You may cast this spell a number of times equal to your Intelligence modifier (minimum of once).  Once you have expended these uses, you cannot use this feat again until you have finished a short or long rest.

Evasion
Beginning at 7th level, you can dodge out of the way of certain area effects, such as a dragon’s fiery breath or an ice storm spell.  When you are subjected to an effect that allows you to make a Dexterity saving throw to take only half damage, you instead take no damage if you succeed on the saving throw, and only half damage if you fail.

Advantageous Intelligence
Starting at 9th level, you have advantage on all Intelligence checks.

Reliable Talent
By 11th level, you have refined your chosen skills until they approach perfection.  Whenever you make an ability check that lets you add your proficiency bonus, you can treat a d20 roll of 9 or lower as a 10.

Arcane Translator
At 13th level, you gain the ability to cast the tongues spell.  You can cast this spell a number of times equal to your Intelligence modifier (minimum of once). After expending these uses, you cannot use this feat again until you finish a long rest.

True Proficiency
When you reach 14th level, you can add your proficiency bonus to all of your saving throws.

Psychometry
Starting at 17th level, you can read the past of an object you hold.  After meditating for one minute, you learn how the owner acquired and lost the object, as well as the most recent significant event involving the object and that owner.  If the object was owned by another creature in the recent past (within a number of days equal to your Intelligence score), you can spend one additional minute for each owner, to learn the same information about that creature.
You can use this feature a number of times equal to your intelligence modifier. When you have expended all uses, you cannot use this feature again until you finish a long rest.

Genetic Remembrance
At 18th level, you can tap into your own genetic memories.  As an action, you choose one skill or tool. For ten minutes, you have proficiency with the chosen skill or tool. You may use this feature a number of times equal to your intelligence modifier. When you have expended all uses, you cannot use this feature again until you have finished a long rest.

Legendary Loremaster
At 20th level, you gain the ability to cast the legend lore spell an unlimited number of times.

Tuesday, August 16, 2016

Clerics of Roth

Divadel of the Brotherhood of Thunder stood on the cliff overlooking the Muck.  A cigarette dangled from the corner of his mouth; the wind plucked listlessly at Divadel’s lank brown hair, his gray-blue robes.  He studied the turgid surface of the Muck, then sighed and undid the laces of his breeches.  Pulling his manhood out, Divadel let a stream of hot piss rain down into the Muck.  There was a disturbance below him.  The cleric barely had time to put his dick away before the Muck roiled and the slimeworm reared up, out of the shit-brown mire.  The beast threw back its head and shrieked its disgust.
Brother Divadel tossed his cigarette aside and grabbed his mace.  Grinning, the armed and armored cleric leapt from the cliff, right at the slimeworm.

Clerics of Roth tend to be adventurers, veterans and angry meteorologists.  They don’t prance around, healing the sick. They’re badasses who go around punching things in the face (at least, at first) and eventually causing frickin’ swords to fall from the sky. Clerics of Roth are so tough that they don’t have paladins, because they don’t really need ‘em.
They have long hair and their armor is usually decorated with lightening bolts. As they get older, clerics of Roth tend to lose some of their hearing because of all the badass thunder damage they deal.

Class Features
As a Cleric of Roth, you gain the following features.

Hit Points.
Hit Dice: 1d8 per Cleric level
Hit Points at 1st Level: 8 + Con modifier
Hit Points at Higher Levels: 1d8 (or 5) + your Con modifier per cleric level after 1st

Proficiencies:
Armor: Light, Medium, Heavy, Shields
Weapons: Simple, Martial
Tools: None
Saving Throws: Strength, Wisdom
Skills: Choose two from Athletics, Insight, Intimidation, Religion and Survival.

Divine Rage.
In battle, your deity endows you with supernatural ferocity. On your turn, you can enter a rage as a bonus action.
While raging, you gain the following benefits: you have advantage on Strength checks and Strength saving throws, when you make a melee weapon attack using Strength you can add your proficiency bonus to the damage, and you have resistance to bludgeoning, piercing and slashing damage.
You can use this feature a number of times equal to your Wisdom modifier.  Once you have expended all uses of this feature, you must take a short or long rest before you can use it again.

Thunderstrike
Starting at 2nd level, when you hit a creature with a melee weapon attack, you deal an additional 1d8 thunder damage to the target, in addition to the weapon damage. The additional thunder damage increases when you reach higher levels, 2d8 at 8th level and 3d8 at 11th level.

Smite Undead
At 3rd level, when you hit an undead creature with a melee weapon attack, you add an additional die to the damage roll.

Ability Score Improvement
When you reach the 4th level, and again at 8th, 12th, 16th and 19th level, you can increase one ability score of your choice by 2, or you can increase two ability scores of your choice by 1. As normal, you can’t increase an ability score above 20 using this feature.

Extra Attack
Beginning at 5th level, you can attack twice, instead of once, whenever you take the Attack action on your turn.  The number of attacks increases to three when you reach 11th level in this class.

Blessed Lightening
At 6th level, you gain the ability to channel your deity’s divine power into a bolt of lightening. A bolt of lightening, 100 feet long and 5 feet wide, erupts from you in a direction you choose. Each creature in that line must make a Dexterity saving throw (DC is 8 + your proficiency bonus + your Wisdom modifier). A creature takes 8d6 lightening damage on a failed save, or half as much damage on a successful one.
The lightening ignites flammable objects in the area that aren’t being worn or carried.
After using this feature, you cannot use it again until you finish a long rest.

Storm God’s Shield
Starting at 7th level, you become immune to all charm effects.

Indomitable Will
Beginning at 9th level, you can reroll a saving throw that you fail. If you do so, you must use the new roll.  You gain an additional use of this feature at 13th level.  You cannot use this feature again until you finish a long rest.

Divine Intervention
Beginning at 10th level, you can call on your deity to intervene on your behalf when your need is great.
Imploring your deity’s aid requires you to use your action.  Describe the assistance you seek and roll percentile dice.  If you roll a number equal to or lower than your character level, your deity intervenes.  The DM chooses the nature of the intervention.
If your deity intervenes, you can’t use this feature again for 7 days.  Otherwise, you can use it again after you finish a long rest.

Purifying Touch
Beginning at 14th level, you can use your action to end one spell on yourself or on one willing creature that you touch.
You can use this feature a number of times equal to your Wisdom modifier (a minimum of once). You regain expended uses when you finish a long rest.

Divine Stamina
Staring at 15th level, when you are reduced to 0 hit point and are not killed outright, you can choose to drop to 1 hit point instead.  Once you use this ability, you can’t use it again until you finish a long rest.

Winds of War
At 17th level, you can fly, gaining a flying speed equal to your current walking speed.  You can use this feature a number of times equal to your Wisdom modifier.  After expending all uses of this feature, you must complete a long rest before you can use it again.
You cannot use this feature if you are underground or indoors.

Storm of Swords
Once you reach 18th level, you can use your action to cause swords to fall from the sky in a cube 5 feet on each side, centered on a point you choose within 30 feet of yourself. Each creature in that area must make a Dexterity saving throw (DC is 8 + your proficiency bonus + your Wisdom modifier).  A creature takes 6d8 piercing damage on a failed save, or half as much damage on a successful one.
You cannot use this feature if you are underground or indoors.

Storm God’s Avatar
At 20th level, you gain resistance to bludgeoning, piercing and slashing damage from nonmagical weapons. Also, the creature that made the attack takes half the damage rolled as lightening damage.

Saturday, August 13, 2016

Kinder-Golems

The children sat in the dark room, on stiff wooden chairs. There was a fine layer of dust covering everything.  Warily, Brother Mide stepped into the room.  As he did, the children raised their heads and turned their faces to him. For the first time, Brother Mide noticed the children’s telltale scars and mismatched eyes.
One stood and smiled at Brother Mide.  Its smile was heartbreaking and ghastly at the same time.  Lifting its arms toward the priest, the kinder-golem spoke in a voice that would have made an angel weep.
“Play with us.”

The first kinder-golem was created by necro-pedophiles in the city of Sybas. They wanted playthings that were genuinely responsive in a way that flesh golems and undead were not. They wanted creatures capable of independent thought and imagination, but that wouldn’t be too difficult to destroy. And, finally, they wanted creatures capable of genuine suffering.  It took time, and some horrific false starts, but the necro-peds eventually achieved their goal.

Kinder-golems are stitched together from the corpses of young children. Once the physical vessel has been crafted to the creator’s satisfaction, the necromancer performs a dark ritual. Calling on primordial powers, they reach beyond the veil, into Limbo, and pluck the soul of a forgotten child out of that place.  The spirit is then bound to the flesh-body which becomes animate.  The act of reincarnation erases any lingering memories the soul might have once possessed, and the kinder-golem rises as a blank slate to be used in any manner its creator desires.

Creating a kinder-golem has become something of a rite of passage for more experienced necromancers. It takes true skill, as well as freedom from societal and moral restraints, to reanimate a child’s body stitched together from the corpses of other children.  Many necromancers host elaborate coming-out parties for their kinder-golem creations.  Of course, once they’ve paraded their creation before their peers, proving their skill, they usually shove the kinder-golem aside and move on to other pursuits.

Kinder-golems are often baffled and upset by their creator’s dismissal of them. Despite the monstrous method of their creation, at their core, all kinder-golems are children. They want to love and be loved.  If they don’t find that from their creator, most kinder-golems will go looking for it elsewhere.  Most fall victim to mob-violence, or end up in the clutches of necro-pedophiles. Some end their existence. Some crawl back to their creators. Too many wind up working as child-prostitutes on the streets of Sybas.

However, some kinder-golems do manage to carve out a life for themselves.  They find
succor in the Houses of the Dead. Others find loving families among the Childless Barrens.  A handful find love and support among their own kind, forming close-knit groups of kinder-golems.  A group of such kinder-golems is referred to as a school.

Abandoned kinder-golem

Kinder-Golem Traits
Ability Score Changes. Because kinder-golems are child-like creatures, their stats reflect this. Strength is -2, Dexterity is -5, Constitution is -1, Intelligence is -3, Wisdom is -1 and Charisma is -3.

Hit Dice. 6d6

Age. Trying to figure out the age of a kinder-golem can be a puzzle, since they are constructed from multiple ‘donors.’  Most are in the same age-range, between 4 and 6 years.  Aging itself is not something kinder-golems need to worry about; they get older, but their bodies do not physically mature.

Alignment. A kinder-golem generally shares the alignment of their creator. However, most would be considered neutral.

Size. All kinder-golems are Small.

Speed. Your base walking speed is 25 feet.

Darkvision. You have superior vision in dark and dim conditions. You can see in dim light within 60 feet of you as if it were bright light, and in darkness as if it were dim light. You can’t discern color in darkness, only shades of gray.

Languages.  Kinder-golems speak the language of their creator.

Damage Immunities: Poison

Damage Resistances: Bludgeoning, piercing and slashing from nonmagical weapons

Condition Immunities: Charmed, Exhausted, Frightened, Paralyzed, Petrified, Poisoned

Aversion to Fire. If the kinder-golem takes fire damage, it has disadvantage on attack rolls and ability checks until the end of its next turn.

Immutable Form. The kinder-golem is immune to any spell or effect that would alter its form.

Magic Resistance. The kinder-golem has advantage on saving throws against spells and other magical effects.

Friday, August 12, 2016

Witches

They’re everywhere, man. Everywhere! From the Northedge Mountains to the Bounded Sea, in  crowded cities and the lonely places in the wilderness. Close your eyes, throw a rock and there’s a pretty good chance you’ll hit a witch.  After which, there’s a pretty good chance you’ll either be dead or transformed into something unbearably cute.
Witches are hard to pin down. Some are good, some are evil. The older a witch gets, though, the stronger she gets.  The oldest, most powerful witches live in golden castles at the edge of the world. A witch who is just starting out is likely to share a cramped apartment with friends.
Witches aren’t joiners. That whole coven stuff is a lot of nonsense. Witches are territorial and prickly. They might live in the same city, but they’ll probably never meet for tea and sandwiches.
They don’t pay taxes. They seem to have a fondness for sweets. If you meet one, be very polite and you’ll probably avoid getting polymorphed into a pretty pink frog.

Class Features
As a witch, you have the following class features.

Hit Points
Hit Dice: 1d6 per witch level
Hit Points at 1st Level: 6 + Your Con modifier
Hit Points at Higher Levels: 1d6 (or 4) + your Con modifier per witch level after 1st

Proficiencies
Armor: None
Weapons: Simple
Tools: Herbalism kit
Saving Throws: Wisdom, Charisma
Skills: Choose two from Arcana, Deception, Insight, Medicine, Nature, Persuasion and Survival.

Spellcasting
Witches draw power from themselves and the world around them to fuel their spells. Use the Sorcerer table as shown on page 100 of the D&D 5e Player’s Handbook to determine Spell Slots per character level.  As a witch, you choose your spells from the Druid and Sorcerer spell lists.

Cantrips
At 1st level, choose three cantrips of your choice from the druid and sorcerer spell lists. You learn additional cantrips of your choice at higher levels.

Spell Slots
The Sorcerer table shows how many spell slots you have to cast your spells of 1st level and higher.  To cast a spell, you must expend a slot of the spell’s level or higher.  You regain all expended spell slots when you finish a long rest.

Spells Known of 1st Level and Higher
You know two 1st-level spells of your choice from the druid and sorcerer spell lists.
The Spells Known column of the Sorcerer table shows when you learn more spells of your choice. Each of these spells must be of a level for which you have spell slots.  For instance, when you reach 3rd level in this class, you can learn one new spell of 1st or 2nd level.
Additionally, when you gain a level in this class, you can choose one of the spells you know and replace it with another spell from the druid and sorcerer spell lists.  This new spell must be of a level for which you have spell slots.

Spellcasting Ability
Charisma is your spellcasting ability for your spells.  You use your Charisma whenever a spell refers to your spellcasting ability.  In addition, you use your Charisma modifier when settling the saving throw DC for a spell you cast and when making an attack roll with one.

Spell Save DC = 8 + your proficiency bonus + your Charisma modifier

Spell attack modifier = your proficiency bonus + your Charisma modifier

Ritual Casting
You can cast spells as a ritual if that spell has the ritual tag.

Spellcasting Focus
You can use an arcane or druid focus as a spellcasting focus for your spells.

Favored Environment
Your nature has a witch gives you an affinity with the environment where you live. Choose one type of environment: arctic, coast, desert, forest, grassland, mountain, swamp, underground or urban.  When you cast spells in that environment, you have advantage on attack rolls and can add your proficiency bonus to any damage that you do.
You choose additional environments at 6th and 10th level.

Familiar
At 2nd level, you can perform a ritual to summon a familiar, a spirit that takes the form of an animal you choose. Your witch level determines the animal form that the familiar takes.  At 2nd level, for example, your familiar can be any beast with a challenge rating of 1/8 or lower.  At 7th level, you can transform your familiar into a beast with a challenge rating of 1/4 or lower, and at 11th level, your familiar can have a maximum challenge rating of ½.
Your familiar acts independently of you, but it always obeys your commands.  In combat, it rolls its own initiative and acts on its own turn.
When the familiar drops to 0 hit points, it disappears, leaving behind no physical form.  It reappears after you perform the ritual again.
While your familiar is within 100 feet of you, you can communicate with it telepathically.  Additionally, as an action, you can see through your familiar’s eyes and hear what it hears until the start of your next turn, gaining the benefits of any special senses that the familiar has.  During this time, you are deaf and blind with regard to your own senses.
You can’t have more than one familiar at a time.

Magical Recovery
Starting at 3rd level, during a short rest, you can recover expended spell slots. The spell slots can have a combined level that is equal to or less than half your witch level (rounded up), and none of the slots can be 6th level or higher.  You can’t use this feature again until you finish a long rest.

Ability Score Improvement
When you reach 4th level, and again at 8th, 12th, 16th and 19th level, you can increase one ability score of your choice by 2, or you can increase two ability scores of your choice by 1.  As normal, you can’t increase an ability score above 20 using this feature.


Awareness
At 5th level, you can use your action and expend a spell slot to focus your attention on the region around you.  For 1 minute per level of the spell slot expended, you can sense whether the following types of creatures are present within 1 mile of you (or within 6 miles of you if you are within your favored environment): aberrations, celestials, dragons, elementals, fey, fiends and undead. This feature does not reveal the creatures’ location or number.

Witch’s Instincts
Starting at 9th level, you gain an uncanny sense of when things nearby aren’t as they should be, giving you an edge when you dodge away from danger.
You have advantage on Dexterity saving throws against effects that you can see, such as traps and spells.  To gain this benefit, you can’t be blinded, deafened or incapacitated.

Spell Expertise
At 13th level, you have become expert with one of your spells.  Choose one 6th-level spell from the druid and sorcerer spell lists. You can cast this spell once without expending a spell slot. You must finish a long rest before you can do so again.
At higher levels, you gain more spells of your choice that can be cast in this way: one 7th level spell at 15th level and one 8th level spell at 17th level.  You regain all uses of your expert spells when you finish a long rest.

Spell Sacrifice
When you reach 14th level, you can sacrifice a spell slot to restore hit points.  When you use this ability you regain the equivalent amount of HP to the spell slot level.  For example, by sacrificing a 6th level spell slot, you would regain 6 HP.
You must have spell slots available to sacrifice in this manner.  Once you use this feature, you can’t use it again until you finish a long rest.

Spell Mastery
At 18th level, you have achieved such mastery over certain spells that you can cast them at will.  Choose a 1st level spell and a 2nd level spell. You can cast those spells at their lowest level without expending a spell slot.  If you want to cast either spell at a higher level, you must expend a spell slot as normal.
By spending 8 hours in quiet meditation, you can exchange one or both spells you chose for different spells of the same levels.

Wishcraft
At 20th level, you can cast a wish spell once per day without expending a spell slot.

Fisher Knights

FISHER KNIGHT

Fisher Knights are the sacred enforcers of the Church of the Fisherman’s God. When they become knights, their deity endows them with certain powers and abilities. Accomplished fighters before they are elevated, afterwards they gain the power to summon a divine weapon at will, and interact with the minds of others.  Most disturbing of all is their ability to convert susceptible individuals to their faith with a simple touch.

Class Features
As a Fisher Knight, you gain the following features.

Hit Points
Hit Dice: 1d10 per level
Hit Points at 1st Level: 1d10 + Con modifier
Hit Points at Higher Levels: 1d10 (or 6) + Con Modifier per level after the 1st.

Proficiencies
Armor: Light, Medium, Shields
Weapons: Simple, Martial
Tools: None
Saving Throws: Strength, Charisma
Skills: Choose two from Athletics, History, Insight, Intimidation, Investigation, Persuasion and Religion.

Fighting Style
You adopt a particular fighting style.  Choose one of the following options.

Archery: You gain a +2 bonus to attack rolls you make with ranged weapons.

Defense: While you are wearing armor, you gain a +1 bonus to AC.

Dueling: When you are wielding a melee weapon in one hand and no other weapons, you gain a +2 bonus to damage rolls with that weapon.

Great Weapon Fighting: When you roll a 1 or a 2 on a damage die for an attack you make with a melee weapon that you are wielding with two hands, you can reroll the die and must use the new roll, even if the new roll is a 1 or a 2.  The weapon must have the two-handed or versatile property for you to gain this benefit.

Protection: When a creature you can see attacks a target other than you that is within 5 feet of you, you can use your reaction to impose disadvantage on the attack roll.  You must be wielding a shield.

Two-Weapon Fighting: When you engage in two-weapon fighting, you can add your ability modifier to the damage of the second attack.

Second Wind
You have a limited well of stamina that you can draw on to protect yourself from harm.  On your turn, you can use a bonus action to regain hit points equal to 1d10 + your character level.
Once you use this feature, you must finish a short or long rest before you can use it again.

Action Surge
Starting at 2nd level, you can push yourself beyond your normal limits for a moment.  On your turn, you can take one additional action on top of your regular action and a possible bonus action.
Once you use this feature, you must finish a short or a long rest before you can use it again.
Starting at 17th level, you can use it twice before a rest, but only once on the same turn.

Divine Weapon
At 3rd level, you can use your action to create a divine weapon in your empty hand. You can choose the form that this melee weapon takes each time you create it.  You are proficient with it while you wield it. This weapon counts as magical for the purpose of overcoming resistance and immunity to nonmagical attacks and damage.
Your divine weapon disappears if it is more than 5 feet away from you for 1 minute or more.  It also disappears if you use this feature again, if you dismiss the weapon (no action required), or if you die.

Ability Skill Improvement
When you reach 4th level, and again at 6th, 8th, 12th, 14th, 16th and 19th level, you can increase one ability score of your choice by 2, or you can increase two ability scores of your choice by 1. As normal, you can’t increase an ability score above 20 using this feature.

Extra Attack
Beginning at 5th level, you can attack twice, instead of once, whenever you take the Attack action on your turn.
The number of attacks increases to three when you reach 11th level in this class and to four when you reach 20th level in this class.

Silent Communication
Starting at 7th level, your deity gives you the ability to touch the minds of other creatures. You can communicate telepathically with any creature you can see within 30 feet of you.  You don’t need to share a language with the creature for it to understand your telepathic utterances, but the creature must be able to understand at least one language.

Indomitable
Beginning at 9th level, you can reroll a saving throw that you fail. If you do so, you must use the new roll, and you can’t use this feature again until you finish a long rest.
You can use this feature twice between long rests starting at 13th level and three times between long rests starting at 17th level.

Divine Advantage
At 10th level, your deity gives you the power to ward yourself against attack and to turn an enemy’s failed strike into good luck for yourself.  When a creature makes an attack roll against you, you can use your reaction to impose disadvantage on that roll.  If the attack misses you, your next attack roll against the creature has advantage if you make it before the end of your next turn.
Once you use this feature, you can’t use it again until you finish a short or long rest.

Mirrormind
Starting at 15th level, your thoughts can’t be read by telepathy or other means unless you allow it. You also have resistance to psychic damage, and whenever a creature deals psychic damage to you, that creature takes the same amount of damage that you do.

Conversion
At 18th level, your deity gives you the ability to influence a humanoid’s mind. You use your action to touch an incapacitated humanoid. That creature is then charmed by you until a remove curse spell is cast on it or the charmed condition is removed from it.
You can communicate telepathically with the charmed creature as long as the two of you are on the same plane of existence.

Warbards

So, this is what I do when insomnia hits. I sit down and start thinking up new D&D classes for 5th Edition. :/

WARBARDS

Warbards are found almost exclusively among the barbarian peoples of the Northedge Mountains. Also known as skels they follow their companions into battle, using their songs to enhance their comrades’ attacks and devastate the enemy lines.
Unlike traditional bards, skels do not practice arcane magic. The Songs of Power they learn during their apprenticeships are more akin to druidic magic. The power flows into them from the stones and the winds, from darkness and fire.
Because of the time it takes them to master their Songs, warbards are seldom proficient with martial weapons. Indeed, many of them eschew martial weapons, preferring to put their faith in the power of their songs.

Hit Points
Hit Dice: 1d10 per level
Hit Points at 1st Level: 10 + Con modifier
Hit Points at Higher Levels: 1d10 (or 6) + Con modifier per level.

Proficiencies
Armor: Light
Weapons: Simple
Tools: 3 musical instruments
Saves: Constitution, Charisma
Skills: Choose 3 from Animal Handling, Athletics, Deception, Intimidation, Nature, Perception, Performance, Persuasion and Survival.

Combat Inspiration
At 1st level, you can inspire others in battle. To do so, you use a bonus action on your turn to choose one creature other than yourself within 60 feet of you who can hear you.  That creature gains one Combat Inspiration die, a d6.
The creature can roll that die and add the number rolled to a weapon damage roll it just made. Alternatively, when an attack roll is made against the creature, it can use a reaction to roll the Combat Inspiration die and add the number rolled to its AC, after seeing the roll but before knowing whether it hits or not.
You can use this feat a number of times equal to your Charisma score modifier (minimum of once). You regain your expended inspiration after a long rest.
Your Combat Inspiration die changes when you reach certain levels in this class. The die becomes a d8 at 5th level, a d10 at 10th level and a d12 at 15th level.

Danger Sense
At 2nd level, you gain an uncanny sense of when things nearby are not as they should be, giving you an edge when you dodge away from danger.
You have advantage on Dexterity saving throws against effects that you can see, such as traps and spells. To gain this benefit, you cannot be blinded, deafened or incapacitated.

Expertise
At 3rd level, choose two of your skill proficiencies. Your proficiency bonus is doubled for any ability check you make that uses either of the chosen proficiencies.

Ability Score Improvement
When you reach 4th level, and again at 8th, 12th, 16th and 19th level, you can increase one ability score by 2, or you can increase two ability scores of your choice by 1.  As normal, you can’t increase an ability score above 20 using this feature.

Extra Attack
Starting at 5th level, you can attack twice, instead of once, whenever you take the Attack action on your turn.

Countercharm
At 6th level, you gain the ability to use music or words of power to disrupt mind-influencing effects.  As an action, you can start a performance that lasts until the end of your next turn. During that time, you and any friendly creatures within 30 feet of you have advantage on saving throws against being frightened or charmed. A creature must be able to hear you to gain this benefit.  The performance ends early if you are incapacitated or silenced or if you voluntarily end it (no action required).

Song of Thunder
At 6th level, you can unleash a wave of thunderous force. Each creature in a 15-foot-cube originating from you must make a Constitution saving throw (DC is 8 + your Proficiency bonus + your Charisma modifier). On a failed save, a creature takes 6d8 thunder damage. On a successful save, the creature takes half as much damage.
You can use this feature a number of times equal to your Charisma modifier.  After expending all uses, you cannot use it again until you complete a short or long rest.

Feral Instincts
By 7th level, your instincts are so honed that you have advantage on initiative rolls.  Additionally, if you are surprised at the beginning of combat and aren’t incapacitated, you can act normally on your first turn.

Song of Shattering
At 9th level, you can use your voice to hit a loud, painfully intense, note. Each creature in a 10-foot-radius sphere, centered on you, must make a Constitution saving throw (DC is 8 + your Proficiency bonus + your Charisma modifier). A creature takes 8d8 thunder damage on a failed save, or half as much damage on a successful one.  A creature made of inorganic material such as stone, crystal or metal has disadvantage on this saving throw.
Nonmagical objects also take the damage if they are in the spell’s area.
You can use this feature a number of times equal to your Charisma modifier.  After expending all uses, you cannot use it again until you complete a short or long rest.

Intimidating Presence
Beginning at 11th level, you can use your action to frighten someone with your menacing presence.  As an action, you can cause each creature in a 10-foot-cube originating from you to make a Wisdom saving throw (DC is 8 + your Proficiency bonus + your Charisma modifier). Creatures that fail the saving throw are frightened by you until the end of your next turn.
You can extend the duration of this effect on subsequent turns.  This effect ends if the creature ends its turn more than 60 feet from you.
If the creature succeeds on its saving throw, you can’t use this feature on that creature again for 24 hours.

Song of Fear
At the 13th level, you sing a song that evokes terror in those around you. Each creature in a 30 foot sphere, centered on you, must succeed on a Wisdom saving throw (DC is 8 + your Proficiency bonus + your Charisma modifier).  A creature that fails the saving throw must immediately drop whatever it is holding and becomes frightened until the end of your next turn.
While frightened by this feature, a creature must take the Dash action and move away from you by the safest available route on each of its turns, unless there is nowhere to move.  At the end of its turn, the creature can attempt a Wisdom saving throw.  On a successful save, it is no longer frightened.
You can use this feature a number of times equal to your Charisma modifier. After expending all
uses, you cannot use it again until you finish a long rest.

Retaliation
At 14th level, when you take damage from a creature within 5 feet of you, you can use a reaction to make a melee weapon attack against the creature.

Song of Banishment
When you reach 17th level, you can use this feat to send one creature that you can see, within 60 feet of yourself, to another plane of existence. The target must succeed on a Charisma saving throw (DC is 8 + your Proficiency bonus + your Charisma modifier). If the target fails the saving throw they are banished until the end of your next turn.
If the target is native to the plane you’re on, you banish them to a harmless demiplane. While there, the target is incapacitated. The target remains there for 1 minute, at which point the target reappears in the space it left or in the nearest unoccupied space if that space is occupied.
If the target is native to a different plane than the one you’re on, the target is banished to its home plane and does not return.
You can use this feature a number of times equal to your Charisma modifier. After expanding all uses, you cannot use it again until you finish a long rest.

Master Warbard
At 20th level, you Constitution and Charisma scores increase by 4. Your maximum for those scores is now 24.

Monday, August 8, 2016

SUICIDE SQUAD

I just got out of seeing Suicide Squad and thought I would do a quick review.  The movie has a decent cast but a generic plot.  Character development is given, predominantly, to Harley Quinn and Deadshot. The other characters remain undeveloped.  Unfortunately, even the developed characters in this film are boring.
For those of you unfamiliar with the Suicide Squad, they are a group of super-villains from the DC Comics Universe, press-ganged by a woman named Amanda Waller into running clandestine black ops operations for the U.S. government.  In exchange for completing these operations, the group gets time shaved off their various prison sentences.  To ensure their compliance, each member of the group is fitted with a remote-controlled explosive that can be activated by Waller or the squad’s field commander, Colonel Rick Flag.
Many people, after seeing the film, have compared it to The Magnificent Seven. This is not an accurate comparison, in my opinion. No, the Suicide Squad would more accurately be compared to The Dirty Dozen.
Both films are about convicted criminals recruited to carry out a suicide mission, but the 1967 film does a much better job of telling a story. Suicide Squad’s story is hampered by its cast of unsympathetic characters and a predictable story that, to be honest, drags at times.
I think the cast tried to work with what they were given, but that wasn’t much. And some of the performances are just flat-out bad.
Margot Robbie certainly has Harley Quinn’s look down, but not her ephemeral zaniness.  Will Smith plays Deadshot like he plays every character. Jai Courtney’s Captain Boomerang was serviceable, but unspectacular, while Karen Fukuhara’s Katana remains pretty much a cypher throughout the movie. Adam Beach’s Slipknot makes no impression at all, while Adewale Akinnuoye-Agbaje and Cara Delevingne’s Killer Croc and Enchantress both make terrible impressions.  Adewale because he doesn’t do anything at all, while Delevingne’s character, who is central to the plot, is plastic and two-dimensional.  Joel Kinnaman’s Rick Flag is an atrocious stereotype while Viola Davis’s Amanda Waller is not so much menacing as simply ponderous. The only performance that stood out to me was Jay Hernandez, as El Diablo, who managed to make his character seem genuinely repentant, if not very sympathetic. As for Jared Leto’s Joker? The phrase ‘chewing scenery’ springs immediately to mind.
So, was Suicide Squad a good movie or a bad movie?  Well, while it wasn’t as bad as I thought it might be, it was nowhere near as good as it could have been. This movie might have been much better if it had just been a balls to the wall action romp, without any attempt at character development to make the bad guys more sympathetic.  Also, I’m curious about how much better or worse the movie was before cuts were made and reshoots were shot?  Did it flow better?  I suppose we’ll have to wait for the DVD release.
For now, on a scale of one to five, I would give Suicide Squad a two.  Skip the theater for this one, and catch it on Blue-Ray or Netflix instead.  You’ll probably thank me later.

Wednesday, August 3, 2016

Waiting

Sitting in my room,
tap-tap-tapping on the keys.
Waiting for my life.
It should be here, by now. Right?
It should have begun.
But it feels like it hasn't.
My life feels frozen.
A cold glacial pond. Creaking.
Waiting to shatter.
Waiting for the summer sun.
Waiting for something.
Waiting for God to show up
and say, "Here! Breathe! Live!"
But I don't think God will come.
Sitting in my room,
tap-tap-tapping on these keys.
Waiting for my life.